I pray at night that our paths soon will cross
And what we had isn't lost

-Enrique Iglesias, Somebody's Me

Okay here's my friend appreciation post! No angst.

So uh went out with Natalie FuYuan YanZhe a couple of days ago and we spent really long just laughing at my old blog posts hahahahah. And judging me for liking Chris Evans I still don't get how it's funny guys??

Anyway. So they've told me to blog again so we can laugh at me again two years down the road. But yeah it's actually a really good idea it'd actually made me think and reflect and maybe I'd feel something more than numbness WAIT NO ANGST.

And I just wanted to thank them for a bunch of other stuff they've done for me all these years. Yeah I don't really know how to write individual ones you guys can just go read my cringe-worthy thankyou posts from 2009 or something for those hahah.

But honestly guys, you've inspired me to be a better person I am not even kidding. All the stuff you've said about how I was really nice and really awesome seriously made me think about how I've changed these few years after we've graduated.

Idk I think I've basically become an awkward kid who doesn't really know how to carry a proper conversation apparently sarcasm is very annoying to some people oh well their loss. But more than that I think I've become much less, nice, for lack of a better word.

I won't say I've become more bitchy because wow, were we bitchy in P6 hahah how is that even possible we were pretty messed up. But I just, don't feel like I'm being that incredibly good friend that I'd like to think I was in primary school. To the people I wasn't secretly hating anyway.

Even to my friends in NY it's like I don't try as hard to be a great friend anymore so catching up with you guys really reminded me of who I was and who I should really try to be. Yeah so this is cliche as hell but yeah, thanks for inspiring me to be better.

It's just that, you guys remind me of a time where everything was just so much better. Yeah we were immature as hell and there was random drama all the 'who likes who likes who', but life was still so much simpler. We were so carefree and shit there were literally like two things to worry about at most.

Okay this is all leaving out all the secret bitching I was doing. At least in hindsight I could see it was just really immature thinking and it wasn't totally unfounded claims anyway. Now when I bitch about people I probably know right now it's immature but I still act that way sigh.

I just love how whenever we meet up it's like we've never left NYPS at all. We can just fall back into that easy conversation and insulting each other there are no awkward silences whatever. It's like we're still those carefree primary school kids. (Well with a lot more maturity thank god but you guys get the point right?)

Uh idek if this links, but yeah so in some way you guys keep me grounded. Like, this bunch of people away from all the shit of real life like all the drama we talk about is from a third person's point of view I don't have to keep having this nagging thought at the back of my mind like "Remember like two weeks ago this person did this and this." It's really liberating I really enjoy spending time with you guys.

Wow this post is more incoherent that the previous one I don't even know what my point is anymore. Basically I love you guys and we really need to make an effort to meet up more during the year because I miss you all so much ahhhh.

Yeah okay I don't get this post either I might attempt another one when it's not 3am.

New Year Resolution #2: Make an effort to meet up more.

When the days are cold, and the cards all fold
And the saints we see are all made of gold

-Imagine Dragons, Demons


Wow okay blogging feels so foreign now after like, two years or so. It's been so long since I actually wrote because I wanted to and not because I had to. Well, actual coherent writing with full sentences at least.

Yeah probably why I got B3 for LA ugh still can't get over that I probably sound as mature now as I did in P6 okay I need help. But anyway.

Reading my old blog posts yesterday made me cringe so bad hahah. All that terrible grammar/spelling and drama and angst omg the amount of angst was overwhelming.

But it also made me think. Even if it was overdramatized whiny tween angst and a lot of uncalled for rage, at least I was feeling something. The only times I've felt strongly for something during the past three years are during fangirling. That kinda sums up my secondary school life in one line.

I don't really know what happened but somewhere along the way Nanyang just ruined any passion I had for like, anything. I may not fucking hate my school or anything, but I'm just so painfully numb to everything that I honestly can't tell which is better.

I literally have zero drive to accomplish anything. I have no goals, nothing to chase after, nothing to look forward to. Everyday it's just get up, contemplate making some sort of social interaction, try not to piss my parents off, go back to sleep when I get so exhausted from doing nothing.

I don't really see the point anymore. But the sad part is, I can't even bring myself to care. I can't even give a damn about the fact I'm becoming so freaking mediocre.

I'm really not being dramatic. I'm a pretty average student I'm not going to say I'm terrible because I know I'm not, but there's no subject I even slightly excel in, or prefer over the others. Well, except Chinese which is below everything else but that's kinda a given.

I'm pretty sure I'm one of the worse softball players in my batch. I'm not putting myself down I'm just being brutally honest this entire post seriously. I go for every single training but everytime my train of thought just goes Okay I hope coach doesn't challenge me today so I won't embarrass myself in front of juniors. I know I'm never going to improve at this rate and I'm not going to make it on the team, but what's new.

I don't have any leadership positions or anything? Yeah that's a pity maybe if others had more expectations of me I would've stepped up to the plate and actually did something.

I don't have any talents whatsoever. Musical gifts or art talent or whatever, something as simple as being creative. I literally have no mind of my own I remember we attended this clay workshop thingum in China where we were free to make whatever we wanted. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do; I just sat there staring blankly at the slab. If you had told me to make a cat or ball or something I probably would've done it pretty shabbily but at least I would've known what to do. I just can't create anything.

Wow isn't that eye-opening. (note to self: stop using literally yes everyone gets it everything in this post is very technical)

Yeah so that's pretty much how I've been feeling about myself these past few years. It feels sorta fucking lousy and everyday I wish that I could be her or her or just basically anyone else; anyone who actually knew how to describe themselves with something other than "average".

But I just can't bring myself to do anything about it. I can't even bring myself to plan or attempt to do anything that makes me a little less boring. So I just blame the circumstances and the lack of opportunities and everyone else around me for being better because I can't face the fact that it's my fault. I just can't see past this overwhelming sense of nothingness and to be honest it's annoying as fuck.

Yeah okay so new year resolution for 2013:

The world didn't end, I'm still here so I seriously should start making something of my life. So, just go out there and do something. Really, anything would be more than what I've been doing so.

Yep much easier said that done I'm probably going to be back here in a year whining about the same thing wow this is pathetic oh well fuck it.

(shit I curse a lot when I type I'm pretty sure I haven't said fuck for a few months irl?? sigh)

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. 

© Ralph Emerson

Yeah kinda explains how I can't achieve anything.

Reread this post and I'm pretty much repeating the same point over and over again oh well this is why I'm no good at LA. And ugh I intended for this to be a one-line post like "I LOVE YOU GUYS HAPPY NEW YEAR!" oh well next post I guess.

I wanna share your horizon and see the same sun rising
Turn the hour hand back to when you were holding me

-Simple Plan, Jet Lag

I've been meaning to post all this stuff about how Simple Plan's coming back and even though some people say they're like so ten years ago (kinda literally) I still heart them because they were the first ever band I liked. Okay, first english band.

But my mood's just totally off ugh. Today was fucking horrible omg. Okay hmm let's see, I had to redo my History assignment for the third time. Because it was due yesterday and I did like half of it at home, but I forgot to bring it so I chionged it in school then handed it in later than the rest of the class. And then today for some reason he told me he didn't fucking receive so I had to chiong it again. Whatthefuck luh.

And. I'm getting a fucking A2 for Math. Awesome I know. Ugh I'm seriously going to kill myself. All because I fucking screwed up my stupid block test for no apparent reason. So yeah, it totally doesn't matter that I got 10 for 2 quizzes man! And that people who failed half of their quizzes are getting A1 while i'm not! It's fucking awesome, I know.

ANd uhh, I got into Chinese News Theatre for sabbats while NgXin got into Bonsai. And I was the one who helped her sign up! If not for me she would've totally forgotten and gotten into Chinese Debate. And then I literally helped her enter everything the only thing she did was type her password!

Okay actually that didn't really make me upset, just thought it was so unfair aish.

And then for some reason I couldn't find my Chinese SIA thingy. Even though I helped NgXin print and I brought hers. But idk where the hell is mine. Okay maybe I didn't print it, since I actually printed all that stuff at 4am because I just randomly woke up and I was probably too sleep-addled or something. And then we had to chiong our IH. You know the deadline we set for ourselves was one freaking month ago. And then stupid potato just literally tells us "You're going to fail. Terribly."

And idk, just a lot of shit happened today.

And I think I'm very, vulnerable. Okay wait I don't really know. Idk, I just have the tendency to cry very easily even when I don't want to. It's like an involuntary reflex.

Okay I'm pretty sure that's quoted from White Collar. Like, the last bit.

Okay I'm still in my horrible mood and I'm freaking sleepy as usual, so yeahh.

I never thought that it'd be easy cause we're both so distant now,
And the walls are closing in on us and we're wondering how

-Justin Bieber, Down To Earth

So I finally watched Never Say Never on Friday! Okay tbh it was a tiny bit disappointing because it wasn't as superduperfreakin epic as I thought it would be, but it was still pretty amazing. Although I don't get how people like Bijou who didn't know anything find it boring.

And she didn't like Down To Earth :O But it was so epic and amazing and sad D:

Oh but the 3D was quite disappointing though. There were effects only for like, him randomly reaching out while singing. And the words. And confetti. I'm quite sure that's all, I'm serious. Ugh he said he'd make out with us! He actually said in one of the trailers "So, which one of you girls want to make out with me right now, 3D?" Yesh I'm serious LOL. Not that I actually want to hahah.

Then after that we went to Raffles City to have lunch with 211! Then we went to Esplanade for 881. I think my class is damn awesome like only one person wore a skirt/dress while all the other classes had a hell lot of people wearing hahah.

881 was quite, okay I guess. Kinda funny, and quite sad at the end. But I kept falling asleep in the beginning. And when I did Daphne kept hitting me OW.

AND THERE WAS NAT HO! Who was so hottt hahah.

Hmm. What else happened during my week. Drama! On Monday. Aish we were quite unprepared. And I think now we're going to get 0, because we took back our process file which included our marksheet to redo, then they haven't keyed in the marks blah blah so now we're going to get 0 for both our performance and process file :O

And uh, Wednesday. Went to Serene with Daphne XiMin and NgXin after school because they were idiots who got lost on their way to CIP and just gave up. We ate like, 2 large fries. Then we went to Island Creamery and shared one tub of Ping Pong Milo omggg I feel damn fat now. Then we sat there and bitched, which I sometimes kinda feel bad about.

Aish.

--

Okay I typed all that on like, Sunday. I don't think anything else happened last week. We had gym training on Thursday and Saturday omggg it's damn tiring. But nevermind I want to get rid of the flab in my thighs! And stomach and arms and everywhere ugh.

Yeah okay this week. Can't remember much either, most probably because I'm in a super bad mood, but I shall write about that later. What actually happened this weekkkk. Ugh this is like some analogy of my life okay. I just drift through it without any aim, passion, direction, anything. I just like, live each day as it comes, and no, not in a good way, I think my future's quite screwed. That's why I can't even remember anything.

Oh right, I had 2.4km on Tuesday. Okay so my timing is still really bad, but I'm damn proud of myself! I improved by one minute. From last year/the trial! And I literally didn't stop to walk, at all. Yes, that's a big achievement for me. But I didn't sprint! D: Which was totally wasted sigh. That's why at the end of the thing I didn't even feel breathless.

Okay but I think the weather helped a lot though. It was like, super nice and cloudy. Except for when it started to rain damn heavily ugh. Then after that we got some pep talk from our captain and vice-captain about zonals. And omg I didn't know the date of our first match I feel damn retarded and embarrassed now.

Wednesday, I finished Art, in one lesson!

--

So it's been another week and I still haven't finished this post. Ookay so now I can't remember much of last week.

Had NAPFA 5items on, Thursday I think? Okay so apparently my SBJ is still fine this year. Idk why, I was freaking out the week before because I couldn't jump. And this year's shuttle run is so screwed it's blocks instead of beanbags wth I think the school hates us. And ahhh I just realized that I got mostly borderline-A's this year so next year I'm going to get a lot of B's OH NO.

And then we had our last Philo lesson): We barely even had any! Then, I wasted my long weekend doing nothing when I actually had a hell lot of homework. Okay I think history's going to repeat this weekend.

Then uhh. Tuesday. We had our Geog quiz. Gahh my second open-ended question was totally wrong. That's like, 2/3 marks gone? But other than that I think I'm going to do okay. Dance! We rehearsed with transitions etc. Ah I hope we don't screw it up on the day.

Wednesday, PE. We attempted to train for our 4x100m. Omg I think we're going to embarrass ourselves our timing's damn slow. And I think my sprinting's deproving waitthere'snosuchword deteriorating WTF. I'm totally gonna pon the 100m heats.

And I want new sport shoes. Mine's sole is like, coming off soon. Like, the whole sole. Not the random pieces of rubber at the bottom. The whole damn thing. And there's this bunch of loose kinda long thread inside the left one, and when I run there's a hell lot of friction and it burns like shit. Okay actually I just need to cut it off but whatever! It's like, hard to cut off completely because the start of it is like, all the way inside the shoe. And it's like super not bouncy which is damn unfair. And I've had them since P5 wts.

Okay I'm sorry I just ranted a whole paragraph about how I want new sport shoes.

Anyway. Uh. Thursday, finished painting my art, in one lesson again! Hahah I'm damn happy that mine is so freaking simple even though it'd probably get me an F. Then during training, we did a hell lot of batting because my coach came. And then he got freaking pissed at me for not bunting properly ugh. And then my thumb got hit by a machine ball omg damn pain I couldn't even do anything properly because I could barely move my thumb without it hurting like crap.

Friday, super short day. But I had training wts. We were the only people having CCA, and we usually don't even have training on Fridays! And it was damn fucking sunny I think I'm even blacker now. Damn tiring omg. And then my coach got damn fucking pissed with me, again. Ugh and I really cannot stand some people I know I suck but can you not act oh-so-superior and be less condescending.

And then I took the same bus as my coach lol. If it wasn't a double-decker bus it would've been damn awkward hahah. And I thought he drives!

Then, today, wanted to sleep in because it was the only Saturday that I could sleep in but it turned out to a damn horrible idea it was damn fucking hot omg.

---

Soo. Complete coincidence that I'm posting today. Honestly, if I finished this post on any other day, I wouldn't post this part because yeah, it's a bit stupid to post about events after the day itself?

But anyway! It's been one year since The Wanted shot their music video for their debut single, All Time Low! Which shot straight to #1 on the charts during it's first week of release. Without much help from like, the radio or TV appearances. Unlike the thousands of bands coming from X-Factor. You know, just saying~

Okay I'm not going to type some long speech about how much I love them blah blah. I'm pretty sure I've already done that on Twitter. And reblogged idkhowmany of that kind of posts on Tumblr. So yeah, not gonna post it on my blog where the people reading are my actual friends who don't care at all.



#ProudOfTW #1YearAllTimeLow
TheWanted<3

PS. Ohh you know one of my batchmates now likes them just because she saw all my spam of them on Twitter and Tumblr! See how well that worked compared to actually verbally telling people about them. The power of social networking~

Hahah this shall be a short, pointless-in-your-opinion post. Do you know what day it is!

Okay you probably do since I went around telling almost everyone today.

IT'S NATHAN SYKES' BIRTHDAY!

Soo, HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY NATHAN JAMES SYKES!<3 Continue being cute and sweet and hot and funny and hyper and basically awesome. Thankyou for cheering me up -points to my previous post- and just for, making my life better in some weird indirect way. And don't get too drunk hahahah.

Ohh I should totally tweet that or something.

Anywayyy, ending off this post with a photo just because I can.



I saw this photo for the first time in my life like, 2 hours ago. He looks damn different here :O In a good way of course. Okayy I shall go post a proper birthday post for him on Tumblr where nobody would judge me~

Ohh wait one last thing, he was trending #1 Worldwide!



Okay I think the quality sucks because my phone can't take screenshots which is just stupid, and that was taken with NgXin's crappy 3MP phone camera.

But yeahh, YAY.

And #happy18nathan and Nath are still trending in UK hahah.

If we put too much light on this
We'll see through all the cracks

-David Cook, Lie

don't say a word, I'm okay with the quiet, the truth is gonna change everything

let the cameras roll on, keep pretending

I was gonna post this long part about how I'm so sick of how fake we're all being but I'm too tired to even care now.

so look me in the eye, and lie, lie, lie

---

Hahahah after I typed that yesterday, I fell asleep straight away because I was on my bed hahah.

Anyway. Hmm. What has happened...

OM! Soo, National Finals were last week. Friday was Spon, and the question was kinda hard? Ohhh and guys, I just realized our Spon actually wasn't that good. We were like, the second last among all the Nanyang Div II teams. Sorry to anyone who's bubble was burst after seeing this?

BUT. Our Prob-Div sucked so we were the first and got 100% yayy.

And then that night Gwen Bianca and SeeMin had a mental breakdown because of the stupid machine. Yeahhhhhhhh, it was not fun. It was actually kinda scary. And it went on for like, an hour. BUT AT LEAST THE MACHINE WORKED IN THE END (Y)

And then we freaked out because it was 1am and we thought lights out was at 12am. But when we went downstairs we were like one of the earliest groups to sleep wth.

Then uh, the next morning we fixed our backdrop till it could stand! But when we reached ACSI everything fell apart. Like, the other groups' props fell on our machine in the lorry, and all the tape on the backdrop became loose so it couldn't stand anymore. For the machine everything just, boomed ugh. Okay so the backdrop was totally our fault but the machine wasn'ttttt.

And then we just got super flustered and we couldn't fix it in time in the end so our dynamic for the performance was completely off. Like, we missed a whole bunch of kindareally important lines.

After that the rest of them went to watch our seniors' performances while Gwen and I just wandered around because we were totally not in the mood to. Ohh and there was this one point of time we were watching the softball game and I completely didn't realize that my coach was playing until I saw my senior's tweet about it hahah I fail.

And then we went to the prize ceremony which just made it even more depressing. Then after that we went to clear our stuff and the bus fucking left without us. Wow, thanks for caring so much about us man.

It was just a horrible, horrible day.

Then Sunday was just spent wallowing in self-pity and depression. And stalking The Wanted to attempt to make myself feel better. Yes I had to type that line. Because....

It's not my fault that there's not much going on in my life to make me feel better, is it. Especially when my friends can't make me feel better anyway. I'm not saying none of you bother, but most of you are just so freaking self-centred sometimes/most of the time actually I cannot stand it. Like seriously, you know, sometimes it might be good to actually listen to someone else, talking about something other than you, you and you. You don't always have to shoot me down and say "I don't careee~" or just outright ignore me right. I mean, most of the time I'm actually saying something that's actually at least partially concerning you. Even if it doesn't, would it kill to listen to me ramble for a while, when I spend hours listening to you guys.

I miss my primary school friends who actually bothered to try to isten even if you're totally rambling on and on about stuff they don't care about.

So yeah, I have to rely on five guys, thousands of miles away, whom don't even know of my existence to cheer myself up. It's not a sin to make myself happy, is it.

Ohh and no I'm not a hypocrite to other fangirls okay! I like, shake my head only when they like, start talking to themselves or squeal super loudly or something -cough cough-

Okay sorry for the super long rant. Anywayyy. What else has happened. OHH getting back block test results fuck. I did damn fucking badly for everything except Geog. Which I expected all along actually.

Math, I had a fuckload of careless mistakes. 13marks worth, yeahhh. FML. It's freaking wasted mannnn ugh it's not even like I suck at Math or anything.

Science, yeah, I knew that I was anyhow doing the paper. Ugh that sounds so Singlish. But what's a synonym for anyhow. Okay cannot be bothered to think right now. Basically I did really, really badly. But I actually studied! D: And while doing corrections I kept going "omg wtf I totally knew this" Okay actually I think most people think that for every single paper but stilllllllllll.

Chinese was fucking horrible. Everyone from my half of the class did super well except for me, who got like a B4. You know I can't even bear to look through the paper. Yeah, I barely touched it since I got it because it's just damn depressing. Yeah you know I haven't packed my file for the whole week when I usually clear it every single day because I'm obsessed with having a way too light bag.

GEOG :D Okay if I didn't do well for this one I probably would've killed myself. Plus this was one of the few papers that while doing, and even after the paper when comparing answers, I didn't really have a bad feeling about anything much. Except for the, farmer's dilemma about living near a volcano question, which I didn't connect my answer to the question. Aishhhh. If I included like, "The farmer is facing a dilemma of leaving the area for his safety or staying on for the fertile soil for his crops" stuff like that, I would've gotten like half a mark lower than the highest scorer aishhhhh.

Not the point.

Yeah, but generally I'm still depressed about my results. My LA and History better be at least average-ish or I'm going to cry seriously. I think I cry very easily you know. Like, any random person just mentions some negative thing to me, like the most current example of asking me about my Chinese/Math/Science marks and I'll just somehow start tearing. Idk whyyyyy it's not like I want to! I used to be super good at controlling my emotions in primary school ugh I don't know what happened.

Okay what else do I have to post about... OH we have zonals in a month and we only found out on Tuesday :O Shitttttt my coach better not replace me with some sec one because my throwing sucks recently fuck.

And we're playing against MGS :O Who are quite good, I think.

Okay uhhh what else what else what else.

OH.



Total, shocker, omg. Listen to it seriously. It made me somewhat gain respect for Ke$ha.

And apparently it's about her ex-fiance who died in a car crash D: Which is just, so, heartbreaking, omg </3

Just listen to it :O

Okay I can't remember what else I have to post about and I have to go for dinnerrr.

We're standing in a light that won't fade,
Tomorrow's coming but this won't change

-The Wanted, Gold Forever

Must, resist, temptation, to, post, about, The, Wanted.

SO MY BLOCK TESTS ENDED TODAY YAYYY.

The Geog paper was kinda easy, but I made a bunch of stupid mistakes. Well, at least I spelled Richter correctly?

Yesterday's Chinese paper was, bad for me. For the compo, I sort of went off-topic, and I only wrote like, 2 pages, which is really really short. Like, the question I picked was to write about a happy day (hahah the question sounds retarded) but the amount I wrote of the day's actual events were literally one paragraph. All the others were crapp. And for letter writing my structure was screwed and I didn't have enough points 'cause I had no idea what to write!

Gahhhh I think I'm going to get like B4 for Chinese this year. Honestly, I'm not like overreacting or anything. I was thinking I was doing quite well this year, but Chinese is going to pull my whole MSG up. As in, the bad-up. Yeah.

Hmm, what else is there to post about The Wanted OM! AHHHH I'm damn scared I can't believe nationals are in a week omggggg. Like, we haven't painted/put together our backdrop. Our machine's only half-done I'm damn fucking scared that it's not going to work and then we're fucked. And, some of our props are not finished. And we're very unrehearsed O.M.G.

WE'RE GONNA DIE SCREW THIS DD:

And our spon omg! We're not even like, super good and we haven't practiced in awhile and we have never ever done a single Hands-On question omg -stabs self-

Okay I shall stop freaking out about OM I need to save all my freaking out energy for Nathan Sykes. I shall calm down. WE CAN DO THIS JY!

Hmm, what else can I post about. Ohh today's Music lesson was really, cool. Idk why it just really was. Aish thinking about Music today just somehows makes me sad. So now I'm like stuck between this weird depression and my TheWanted-high. Ugh I might implode soon.

And I should sleep early today. For the whole of this week my sleeping patterns were damn screwed. Like, I'd come home at around 4+ to 6+, I'll bathe, use the comp for awhile, then go to sleep until like 11. Then I wake up, and mug (and stalk Nathan Sykes during my study breaks) till 2+, then go to sleep again. Sometimes I don't even eat dinner. But at least I'm getting enough hours of sleep. Even though it's divided 4-4. But seriously, 8 hours is more than what I usually get.

And today while doing OM I was kneeling down/squatting etc to cut up the cardboard. And once I stand up my head would start spinning and and there'd be a lot of bright spots in my vision for awhile. Ahh I used to get them when I sat down for too long and suddenly got up. But today I wasn't even stationary for that long. If that happens again tomorrow during training I'm gonna die mehh. It better just be some weird aftermath of my screwed sleeping habit which would go away once I sleep properly tonight.

Okay I've run out of things that are actually about me to post about so yeahh, I'll try not to fangirl too much about Nathan Sykes. But he's so kewtt.

Uh, what did I want to post about. Oh right, Kris Allen. Ah, I feel so disappointed with myself for posting so little about him recently. But, I mean, it's not like he has anything much going on. He's just writing and writing and writing. So there isn't much to post about anyway.

Back to the point, he was trending worldwide on Twitter today because he appeared for 3seconds on the new episode of American Idol yayy hahah. He's so awesome man. But seriously, (not so)recently he changed his hairstyle from the sexy spiky-ish thing to some weird, flat thing IDK man.

Ohh and he shares the same birthday as Rebecca Black wthh.

Which brings me to my next topic, REBECCA BLACK!



Hahah just watch it it's damn freaking funny. I think she's quite a nice person actually, like if you watch her interviews and stuff. Just that the lyrics (which she didn't write) are damn ridiculous and her voice is kinda, irritating. Like, it's good because she has good pitch and stuff like that but it just sounds very, yeah you guys get it.

And I think anyone who would make fun of themselves deserves respect man. Or maybe it's just a desperate publicity stunt so that people would respect her, so she makes more moneh. Yeah, I shall be nice and believe it's the former.

Which reminds me of Justin Bieber. Like, he did this BestBuy ad that was aired during Superbowl which is watched by like, 111million people(really! it says so on Wiki) and this old guy says "What the fuck's a Bieber?", he disguised himself as some other creepy old man and say "I don't know, kinda looks like a girl to me."



Aish just watch it.

Which reminds me of that really sad quote I read on Tumblr the other day. Wait let me go find it.

So many girls are saying they are in love with me. But they are in love with what I seem to be. That boy, that never cares about hate, that boy that's always happy, always smiling. But they don't know how much pain this hate gives me, how hard it is sometimes to not break down in tears.

-Justin Bieber

D: He really doesn't deserve all that hate.

Ohh and Gwen wants to watch Never Say Never on the opening day =.= Seriously, I do not get why she wants to like, die amongst all the crazy fangirls. I mean, we're not even hardcore fans there's no point going on the opening day. Plus it's on a Thursday so I have training):

Which reminds me, when I was playing the Gold Forever music video while doing OM today, NgXin suddenly squealed because she thinks that Nathan Sykes looks like a less-hot version of Justin Bieber =.=

Like, seriously, how can you compare Nathan Sykes to Justin Bieber! And still say he's inferior, seriouslyyy. I mean, I like Justin Bieber and think he's relatively good-looking and all, but seriously, Nathan Sykes is just so much more, kewt/hot ughhhh! -resists posting photos to prove my point-

Ohh and I've managed to somehow change all my friends' opinions of him for the better! Gwen always thought he was damn cute yayy, Daphne saw his photo on Gwen's phone/my Tumblr and now thinks he's quite -somethingpositive-, Divya thinks he's okay except his weird face shape/nose or something stoopid like that, and yeah, as mentioned above, NgXin now thinks that he looks like an older-by-one-year, less-hot version of Justin Bieber, which is a compliment, I guess.

Okay I shall stop posting about Nathan Sykes now.

OHWAIT can I just post about one thing. He loves to do the suggestive eyebrow-raise idk why hahah! Like, in the day before's WantedWednesday video he did like, 10 eyebrow-raises. And then he started his part by going "Soo! -eyebrow raise- We're in Manchester. -pedogrin- Hehhhhhhh." Hahah that's so cute. And NgXin says he does the eyebrow raise really well hahah yay!

Okay I shall post about The Wanted now. There's a diff between posting about The Wanted and Nathan Sykes okay. I don't post enough about The Wanted, I should try to not be so biased towards Nathan Sykesss.

Okay so The Wanted's tour seems damn awesome through Tumblr omg. And I think they really make a big effort connecting with their fans. Like, they reply quite a bit a fans through Twitter, and they try to interact with them as much as they can during concerts, and they have a lot of meet&greets and they're very sweet and grateful to their fans. Like, they don't act like divas just because they're famous so they don't mind like, spending a lot of time thanking and talking to their fans and stuff like that.

Because like, at first when they just formed they didn't get much support from radio stations because they weren't from reality TV, which is where most British musicians come from I think. So they had to work very hard and go around everywhere doing tours at schools and stuff, to gain fans and more support. So they're very thankful to their fans for their success and stuff, and the fans actually sort of feel a personal connection to them? Yeah. I think, at least based on what the people on Tumblr are posting.

Soo, now that you've heard the inspiring story of The Wanted, you'll like them right! They're so much more than the usual manufactured, flat, one-sided boybands with mediocre vocals singing impersonal crafted-perfectly-to-be-chart-toppers songs and 'swoon-worthy' looks. They're actually extremely real and personal people with genuine talent okay.

Like, they actually write some of their songs themselves. Like, one third of their album. And they can actually sing well, and they can actually play instruments. Their beauty is totally not only skin-deep.

Aish now this sounds offensive to other boybands, but it's not supposed to be! Uhh, I sort of like JLS? Their songs are quite nice?

I'm gonna end off this post right now because real life just kicked in, and ugh it's bad stuff. Why does there have to be so much dramaaaaa.

TheWanted<3

Oh oh one last thing. If I didn't remember wrongly they were in Singapore earlier this year, for this super epic cool thing. Like, they had a showcase at Sentosa or something like that, and they also had this damn awesome competition where you basically write in and say why you're the biggest TheWanted fan. If you win, they go to your freaking house to perform for you and 9 other friends, and the radio station (I forgot if it was 913/987) brings refreshments and broadcasts the radio show from your living room.

Ugh that would've been so awesome, even though I didn't like them then. I didn't dislike them, I just didn't feel anything? Like, I kept thinking "Ooh this is super cool I think it'd be damn awesome for the person who wins. Even though I don't really like them." And I think the winner lives in Bukit Batok omgg.

Sigh.

Everyone I talk to is just another not you
Makes me wonder how we're so far apart

-The Wanted, Replace Your Heart

Okay, I shall resist the temptation to fangirl until after I've attempted to post normally. -breathes in, breathes out- HI!

This is like, one of my fastest blog post update. Because it's Chinese tomorrow, which is a subject you can't really mug for. Even though I still should because my Chinese sucks. While everyone in my class is getting like, 52 I'm getting 47.

I HEAR NATHAN SYKES. Just saying, sorry.

I even got a 43 before D: And I usually get like, 13/20 for the other one ugh. I think Chinese is my worst subject this year, as in if you only look at my grades. GAH.

Soo, since Sunday. Monday, LA was bad. I had no SEE structure, I basically paraphrased the whole book, then "From this, Scout learned about discrimination." The end. FML I'm going to fail. I didn't even have any quotes except like, "nigger-lover" and "thrash". Honestly. Damnnnn.

After school Bianca and I stayed back to cut up cardboard for our OM backdrop for awhile. Then Daphne called me and begged me to go library to study with her. Yeah, and when I went there she spent like 10minutes standing there trying not to laugh before finally sitting down. Yeah, you don't get it but I feel too tired and fangirly to expose her scandalous affairs so yeah, I'm so nice right.

It isn't actually scandalous, it just sounds better like that.

Tuesday, History. God. There wasn't enough time ugh. I only had 5minutes to do my whole structured question, and half of my second SBQ. And my co-form who was the invigilator was super nice and gave us an extra minute. 'Cause when time was already up she was like, one more minute, probably because she saw pathetic people like me still writing.

Today, Physics, ahhhh fuck. First my mood was completely ruined, because literally every single fucking person who saw my notes were like, "Are these YOURS?!" I'm fucking sick of people treating me like I'm stupid and like I don't try at all just because I'm not, even close to being a model student. Like, seriously, literally everyone does that.

Just because I score well for something doesn't mean I fucking cheated okay. And just because I'm not good at a certain subject or something doesn't mean you can just, IDK LUHHHHH WTF.

Sorry anyway. Then I basically anyhow did the whole paper gah I'm going to fail. Then today after school, we did OM I'm freaking proud of us today. Like, even though it's block tests period, we made 3 out of the 8 panels we need for our backdrop! Okay actually it was because all of us had to stay back for IH consultation anyway. And we used up all the nice identical cardboard, so yeah, I think the other panels would be harder to make):

Then IH consultation, LSB basically told us we were going to fail. But who caaaaaares. Honestly, that draft was total crap and was just handed in for the sake of it. We're not going to fail please.

Okay, so, I should probably go mug for Chinese/Geog now. Okay, I shall continue stalking/fangirling until, 11. Then I'll mug a tiny bit of Chinese.

---

You're strongly advised to not continue reading this post btw. This is my, crazy over-obsessed fangirling, to curb the madness of block tests to make sure I don't lose my sanity. Fighting fire with fire, yeah?

Okay, I honestly, cannot, fathom, how, people, like, Divya, and, Jessie, think, that, Cory, Freakin', Monteith, is, ugly. Okay I completely understand that not everyone thinks he's superduperomghot, but seriously. Ugly, Cory Monteith. Do you not see how those words do not go together.

And ugh all my classmates don't think Darren Criss is good-looking. But yeah, that one I understand more? 'Cause Darren Criss is like, his freaking sexy charm plus his voice plus his personality, plus his looks. Like, his looks aren't that big of a factor of why I like him? Not that I like Cory Monteith only for his looks, okay I do. But I love him for his Canadian dorky awkwardness, and his talent.

ANYWAY. The main point of this fangirling post.

THE WANTED.

Okay so I've spent a lot of time, mostly random breaks between studying, at 2am, stalking them. Ah okay I now think Nathan James Sykes is freaking awesome<3 Ugh it's so sad when everyone I know calls him ugly wtf okay D:

So he's not hot, or very handsome, so what. He has a weird face shape(?), his eyes are too far apart(?!), who cares. He's super cute please. The thing I like about how he looks is that he just looks like a regular (freakishly adorable) 17-year-old boy-next-door. Seriously. It's so mean when everyone says he's ugly okay D: I'm so heartbroken.

Kay that photo's sort of unglam 'cause I just screenshot it from some video because he just looked so freaking cute omo but yeah, most of his photos are unglam anyway.

And he's damn adorkable seriously. I love the word adorkable. He's like those, quiet and blur kind of people hahah. But it's not like he's quiet and emo all the time or something. He's like, dorky and funny and high a lot too. And he's damn slow apparently hahah, despite being the youngest in the band. Everyone else is like 20-22 and he's 17. He takes the longest in the shower, and he cannot drink fast to save his life. Because they keep having milk challenges, idk why, to see who can drink the fastest, and by the time the first guy finishes he's barely started. Then when everyone else finishes he's probably still at like, 3/4 hahah so cute omg.

And I think it's damn fawesome that they post a lot of videos. They post a video every Wednesday, and they call it #WantedWednesday! And it's just very informal, and personal and it's just a great way for fans to connect with them? Like, it's very easy for me to find stuff to fangirl about like that.

Oh and he was the one who thought of the band name, btw. Like, apparently it was when they were working on this, Western cowboy-ish song that's super sexy imo, he thought of those old WANTED posters and stuff. So, tada, The Wanted! He's so awesome.

Yeah, ending this post here before I hyperventilate or something, and I shall end with another photo of Nathan Sykes, just because I can.



He looks so different and not 17yearoldboynextdoor-y, but he's still really good-looking. And in a suit dammit. But his eyebags are just D: </3

Okay gnight I shall go mug for Chinese for like 5minutes now.

And seriously, if anyone of you calls him ugly or something negative I will chop off your head. Keep your mean horrible comments to yourself.

Oh and someone get me The Wanted (the album) as a, random-for-no-reason present tyvm.

We could rule the world someday, somehow
But we'd never be as bright as we are now

-The Wanted, Gold Forever

Ugh I was typing this ridiculously long emo post and I ended up crying (honestly) because I'm just so fucking sick of you guys but yeah, I hate bitching, especially on the Internet, so nevermindddd. YAY:D

On a happier note, THE WANTED!<3 I love this song so much okay. Like, just the meaning behind it. And it's for some charity!

Ooh and I've suddenly started liking them. I mean, their songs are like a bunch of the really few decent songs left on the radio, even though I used to think they were kinda awkward. But they're totally not okay. And they're BRITISH! And a BOYBAND! Ahhhh.

But NgXin saw them in some magazine and said their faces are so square and they look like toads wth! I'm so offended.

Okay nevermind anywayy.

Hmm, I haven't posted in almost 2 weeks. Last week, oh right it was holidays. Gosh I hate myself for completely wasting it doing nothing. I just spent my whole week on Twitter and Tumblr and LiveJournal, and Wikipedia stalking people like Darren Criss<3

Okay, since I last posted on Monday... Tuesday I didn't do anything. Wednesday I worked on OM props for the whole day. I think we're quite screwed ahhhh. Our machine's not even mostly done ohno what if it doesn't work, which will most probably happen, tbh. Then after that I went to Sogurt with Bijou and Bianca and I somehow spent 10bucks on yoghurt :O

Thursday, I went for training. Can't remember what happened during training. I think the Sec3s got damn pissed with us outfielders. So in turn Jodi got pissed at them too. Ugh it was badd. Then after training I went to Daphne's house to do our Science SIA. Then after lunch and sitting around talking about it, we concluded that we could do nothing and should just slack. So we watched movies. No, it was actually only me watching the movies while Daphne and XiMin just sat there and slept.

And ooh before watching we played XBox Kinect! I fail at it though mehh.

Friday, we played against, Assumption English School. We won them, -some awesome score-. AES was really really not a strong opponent, no offense? Plus I think that game was our best out of the 3. Friday, we played Greendale and it was a total mess omg. I don't know why, we just didn't even play to our, 80%? Idk, something like that. Like, I, couldn't bat a single ball, didn't run properly and missed a ball while I was supposed to be covering for Daphne and I think she was super unhappy with me. For the rest of the match she kept talking to me like I was supposed retard, which is probably what she thought because of that one ball.

We still won though hahah.

Sunday, I tried to chiong homework but kept getting distracted. So in the end I didn't do, Chinese I think.

Went back to school on Monday, and changed seating arrangement. I now sit with Gwen, Bianca and Jessie.

:O I just realized that the 17-year-old super cute guy from The Wanted, his voice sounds like a British version of Cory Monteith's. Honestlyyy.

Okay sorry. Can't remember much from Monday. Tuesday, had training. Spent most of it correcting my throw. Gahh my throw's damn screwed. And crap there was no training on Thursday and I didn't go on Saturday because I was sick + I needed to mug so when I have training again on Tuesday I'd have forgotten how to throw correctly ugh.

Wednesday. OMG PE. We were doing 'softball' and it was damn shit please. Basically someone tosses a sponge ball and you try to hit it with something that looks like a enlarged table tennis racket. And that person chases after the ball and then comes back and tags you with it. Meanwhile you're running to and fro between these 2 cones.

Just, UGH.

Oh and the PE teacher made us do PT and everyone died while doing planks hahah. For the first time I'm so happy my coach makes us do it during training.

Then we started Chem. Which is taught by one of softball's teacher-in-charge hahah. It's still, okay so far. Because it's going to get worse mehh.

Thursday. White Space was basically freaking out about how we barely have anytime left until the OM finals. And omg I'm so pissed at that stupid teacher. She was supposed to order our corrugated board since 2+ weeks ago and then when we finally got fed-up and asked her about it on Thursday she told us she couldn't get it because it's too ex and would cost us like, 100bucks.

LIKE, OMG if you can't get it couldn't you have told us earlier. Our whole backdrop is based on that thingy so now our backdrop is 0% done and we need to waste even more time searching for good cardboard.

Then during assembly we watched Theatre Club's SYF performance, and I think I'm the only person who didn't think it was ohemgeeitwassoawesomekdxeikhbgbd! Some people actually cried. I thought it was kinda sad, but not really. No offense? I feel so mean, but I'm just being honest! But the creepiness was achieved though.

Oh and I fell sick on Thursday. As in, I constantly have a cold, idk why. I just keep sneezing. But then that week I got a sore throat, which led to a cough. And then on Thursday I got a fever. I came back, slacked for awhile, then slept from 5.30 to 11. Then I woke up, ate, and attempted to mug until 5. Yes, AM.

Then I had my Math paper, and gah it was badddd. There was this question on Simultaneous Equations and I tried doing with all kinds of shit method except SE. So I had this super messy half-page-long working, and no answer in the end crap. I lost 3marks for nothing. It's not even like I suck at SE or anything.

What else happened on Friday. Music. Matthew Lim basically let us listen to a bunch of songs because we have to write songs this term :O And he said that since Rebecca Black can be a popstar we won't have problems writing songs hahahah.

Oh did you know Rebecca Black's gonna release a single/album titled, -drumroll-, LOL. No, seriously. Hahahahah.

Okay anyway, yesterday I didn't go for training. Slept in because sleeping helps when you're sick? Then I woke up and realized that I actually had CIP on that day. Wore jeans for like, the first time in almost forever because I don't really like jeans, but after I wore I couldn't understand why I don't wear them more.

Reached AMK super late, like, 4.50 when I was supposed to reach at 4, for YMCA Flag Day, and met up with NgXIn and Bianca. Then after that we got free Vitamin Water outside of AMK Hub yayy. And then I dropped Bianca's can and it broke open? Ugh I feel so screwed for doing that. Then we had to walk all the way back to the sign-in/sign-out station place and they told us to make a police report. So we had to take a bus. Basically we wasted a lot of time. When we were done it was almost 7 so we went to eat. Yayy I ate a super Japanese omelette rice. Although the black mushrooms in it were kinda, gross. And NgXin was so proud of her 4-course-meal that she bought without busting her $5 budget.

Then, yeah, today. Completely failed to mug omg I'm going to fail LA tomorrow. I've read the book once and it was practically speed-reading and Guava says twice is actually barely enough ahh I'm going to fail.

Okay instead of spending so much time freaking out about not mugging, I should actually go mug.

OMG THIS IS COMPLETELY RANDOM BUT THE PHONE I'VE BEEN WANTING FOR WEEKS ISN'T ON THE STARHUB WEBSITE ANYMORE AND I'M GOING TO GO BUY MY PHONE NEXT WEEK I THINK UGH IF IT ISN'T THERE I'M GOING TO BE SO PISSED.

赤裸裸的失落，一目了然的痛
让我无法说泪是因为吹风

-飞轮海，寂寞暴走

I'm so proud of myself! 'Cause on the bus ride back from Saturday's Pulau Ubin trip I heard a Chinese song on the radio, which I used to like and decided to try to listen to Chinese songs again! Plus it'll improve my Chinese, I think. My Chinese used to be so much better ugh.

Okay so I haven't really tried very hard but at least I don't limit what I listen to to just my english playlist now? I like, shuffle all my songs. Mmhmm.

ANYWAY. I haven't posted in 2 weeks omg. Hmm, last last week, what happened. -AHH OMG CHINESE SONGS HAVE SO MANY PRETTY LYRICS TO QUOTE FROM OH KENJI WU IS SO COOL IS HE STILL AROUND- Okay sorry anyway, I can't really remember what happened last last week. I only remember Saturday's outdoor activity? We basically walked from BS to KAP to buy our picnic lunch, then to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. Then we climbed up to the summit, then walked this scary freaking unsafe trail-not-paved-path to the place, I forgot what it's called.

We did the challenge pole, which was basically where you climb up this pole, then jump off and attempt to grab onto this trapeze hanging in front of you. According to our instructor the point isn't to catch it, since most girls can't catch it anyway or something ugh so sexist. It's about taking that leap of faith, yeahh. I actually didn't think it was scary, at all. Idk, I just really looked forward to it? I just wanted to jump off and have that awesome feeling of freefalling. I didn't even try to catch the thing, I just jumped off.

It was so fun omo.

Omo looks so cute.

Okay anyway, uh, last week. I remember we had a shitload of homework like SIAs 'cause all the teachers crammed it into the last studying-week of the term ugh. But besides that, idk. Saturday we went to Pulau Ubin. We did kayaking first. It was so fun too hahah. Then we had lunch at the top of some random hill and the view was damn nice.

---

Ugh I typed that like, 6 days ago, on, Wednesday? I can't remember. Anyway, BSE already ended omg I'm damn freaking sad D: But I got a new MacBook Pro<3

Anywayy, back to what I was saying typing, like a week ago. Uh, yep, the view on the top of the hill was damn nice, and then after lunch we totally cheated by getting a van to drive us to, what's that place called. Oh yes, Chek Jawa. There was this really nice old house there. And the sandbank looked sho prettaye omgggg. Yeah, then we went to see the swamps blah blah.

Okay, last week. I can't remember what happened either ugh. Oh right, it was camp. Ohhhhh. Gosh there's something wrong with my brain.

Monday, it was just icebreakers and campfire prep. Icebreakers were kinda fun I guess. Campfire prep was, uhhh. Idk why! Like, 205's supposed to be a high class but they were so dead ugh. Tuesday, ball games.

Ahh they're playing Something 'Bout Love on MTV I'm suddenly overwhelmed with this, idk! Ohh, jsyk, he wasn't dropped from his label. They actually offered to renew but he rejected them 'cause, idk. Yepp.

ANYWAY. Ball Games was quite fun? Dodge ball was a little screwed, but captain's ball is always fun and poison ball was just epic hahah. Then Obstacle Course, we wasted so much time waiting for other classes wth. But yeahh, it was quite fun. Ugh I'm overusing that phrase. But blah the Guess The Song was so biased.

And then I had training. Where we dressed up! So I had to wash my jersey+long socks+slacks myself bleh. Wednesday, Amazing Race. We spent so much time waiting for the other classes again ugh. Oh Gwen, Daphne, XiMin, Bijou, NgXin and I sang (+danced?) to Baby for one of the stations hahahah.

Then we watched Remember the Titans, which was a pretty good movie. Thursday, we had Water Games. Ahh it was so fun. But we played against 201 so it started to get kinda screwed. Shall not talk about it. Then we had Haunted House, which wasn't really scary. All they did was make us crawl through 'tunnels' which we kept banging against ugh, attempt to talk in creepy voices, and grab us. But yeah, at least they tried.

Then we had barbeque where I ate like a pig omg. And there was wayyyyy too much food. And ugh at the end we were supposed to put water into the tray to cool down the charcoal and then they poured too much then grey muck started oozing out from the holes at the side of the tray ew.

And then we had campfire! We had it in the audi because it was raining but it was still awesome<3 That's all I have to say.

Then on Friday it was basically closure, debrief etc. Then after that I had training, because we didn't have training on Thursday and we have a match on Saturday? And ugh I was so tired I couldn't even keep my eyes open and my seniors got pissed with me):

And then after that we had BSE closure. Where everyone went high running around the basketball court. Seriously. And then we had supper, where my group made awesome banana milkshake. And I stuffed myself with these super awesome dumplings shitttt.

And then we had group closure and just, ugh it's just so sad that BSE's over D: We didn't even camwhore enough. Like, we don't even have a single group photo meh.

Then after that I went for SRCs, against Crescent. Omg I couldn't throw properly wts. So thank god I didn't need to throw for the whole match. And I don't think I could've batted a pitcher's ball so thank god I didn't need to?

And we lost 8-7. But it's okay! Go NYSB!<3

And after that we went to buy my new MacBook Pro<3 And my sister's MacBook. Which is so plasticcc. But still, I think my parents are freaking crazy okay.

Then yesterday I just spent the whole day sleeping and doing new-computer-stuff. And then we worked on props for OM today and I spent so much time during it bitching guhh I feel so bad now.

---

I don't know what else to post about. At least usually I know I have something to post about, I just can't remember what. Now I don't even know if I had anything else to post about ugh there's something wrong with my brain seriously.

I pray at night that our paths soon will cross
And what we had isn't lost

-Enrique Iglesias, Somebody's Me

Okay here's my friend appreciation post! No angst.

So uh went out with Natalie FuYuan YanZhe a couple of days ago and we spent really long just laughing at my old blog posts hahahahah. And judging me for liking Chris Evans I still don't get how it's funny guys??

Anyway. So they've told me to blog again so we can laugh at me again two years down the road. But yeah it's actually a really good idea it'd actually made me think and reflect and maybe I'd feel something more than numbness WAIT NO ANGST.

And I just wanted to thank them for a bunch of other stuff they've done for me all these years. Yeah I don't really know how to write individual ones you guys can just go read my cringe-worthy thankyou posts from 2009 or something for those hahah.

But honestly guys, you've inspired me to be a better person I am not even kidding. All the stuff you've said about how I was really nice and really awesome seriously made me think about how I've changed these few years after we've graduated.

Idk I think I've basically become an awkward kid who doesn't really know how to carry a proper conversation apparently sarcasm is very annoying to some people oh well their loss. But more than that I think I've become much less, nice, for lack of a better word.

I won't say I've become more bitchy because wow, were we bitchy in P6 hahah how is that even possible we were pretty messed up. But I just, don't feel like I'm being that incredibly good friend that I'd like to think I was in primary school. To the people I wasn't secretly hating anyway.

Even to my friends in NY it's like I don't try as hard to be a great friend anymore so catching up with you guys really reminded me of who I was and who I should really try to be. Yeah so this is cliche as hell but yeah, thanks for inspiring me to be better.

It's just that, you guys remind me of a time where everything was just so much better. Yeah we were immature as hell and there was random drama all the 'who likes who likes who', but life was still so much simpler. We were so carefree and shit there were literally like two things to worry about at most.

Okay this is all leaving out all the secret bitching I was doing. At least in hindsight I could see it was just really immature thinking and it wasn't totally unfounded claims anyway. Now when I bitch about people I probably know right now it's immature but I still act that way sigh.

I just love how whenever we meet up it's like we've never left NYPS at all. We can just fall back into that easy conversation and insulting each other there are no awkward silences whatever. It's like we're still those carefree primary school kids. (Well with a lot more maturity thank god but you guys get the point right?)

Uh idek if this links, but yeah so in some way you guys keep me grounded. Like, this bunch of people away from all the shit of real life like all the drama we talk about is from a third person's point of view I don't have to keep having this nagging thought at the back of my mind like "Remember like two weeks ago this person did this and this." It's really liberating I really enjoy spending time with you guys.

Wow this post is more incoherent that the previous one I don't even know what my point is anymore. Basically I love you guys and we really need to make an effort to meet up more during the year because I miss you all so much ahhhh.

Yeah okay I don't get this post either I might attempt another one when it's not 3am.

New Year Resolution #2: Make an effort to meet up more.

When the days are cold, and the cards all fold
And the saints we see are all made of gold

-Imagine Dragons, Demons


Wow okay blogging feels so foreign now after like, two years or so. It's been so long since I actually wrote because I wanted to and not because I had to. Well, actual coherent writing with full sentences at least.

Yeah probably why I got B3 for LA ugh still can't get over that I probably sound as mature now as I did in P6 okay I need help. But anyway.

Reading my old blog posts yesterday made me cringe so bad hahah. All that terrible grammar/spelling and drama and angst omg the amount of angst was overwhelming.

But it also made me think. Even if it was overdramatized whiny tween angst and a lot of uncalled for rage, at least I was feeling something. The only times I've felt strongly for something during the past three years are during fangirling. That kinda sums up my secondary school life in one line.

I don't really know what happened but somewhere along the way Nanyang just ruined any passion I had for like, anything. I may not fucking hate my school or anything, but I'm just so painfully numb to everything that I honestly can't tell which is better.

I literally have zero drive to accomplish anything. I have no goals, nothing to chase after, nothing to look forward to. Everyday it's just get up, contemplate making some sort of social interaction, try not to piss my parents off, go back to sleep when I get so exhausted from doing nothing.

I don't really see the point anymore. But the sad part is, I can't even bring myself to care. I can't even give a damn about the fact I'm becoming so freaking mediocre.

I'm really not being dramatic. I'm a pretty average student I'm not going to say I'm terrible because I know I'm not, but there's no subject I even slightly excel in, or prefer over the others. Well, except Chinese which is below everything else but that's kinda a given.

I'm pretty sure I'm one of the worse softball players in my batch. I'm not putting myself down I'm just being brutally honest this entire post seriously. I go for every single training but everytime my train of thought just goes Okay I hope coach doesn't challenge me today so I won't embarrass myself in front of juniors. I know I'm never going to improve at this rate and I'm not going to make it on the team, but what's new.

I don't have any leadership positions or anything? Yeah that's a pity maybe if others had more expectations of me I would've stepped up to the plate and actually did something.

I don't have any talents whatsoever. Musical gifts or art talent or whatever, something as simple as being creative. I literally have no mind of my own I remember we attended this clay workshop thingum in China where we were free to make whatever we wanted. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do; I just sat there staring blankly at the slab. If you had told me to make a cat or ball or something I probably would've done it pretty shabbily but at least I would've known what to do. I just can't create anything.

Wow isn't that eye-opening. (note to self: stop using literally yes everyone gets it everything in this post is very technical)

Yeah so that's pretty much how I've been feeling about myself these past few years. It feels sorta fucking lousy and everyday I wish that I could be her or her or just basically anyone else; anyone who actually knew how to describe themselves with something other than "average".

But I just can't bring myself to do anything about it. I can't even bring myself to plan or attempt to do anything that makes me a little less boring. So I just blame the circumstances and the lack of opportunities and everyone else around me for being better because I can't face the fact that it's my fault. I just can't see past this overwhelming sense of nothingness and to be honest it's annoying as fuck.

Yeah okay so new year resolution for 2013:

The world didn't end, I'm still here so I seriously should start making something of my life. So, just go out there and do something. Really, anything would be more than what I've been doing so.

Yep much easier said that done I'm probably going to be back here in a year whining about the same thing wow this is pathetic oh well fuck it.

(shit I curse a lot when I type I'm pretty sure I haven't said fuck for a few months irl?? sigh)

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. 

© Ralph Emerson

Yeah kinda explains how I can't achieve anything.

Reread this post and I'm pretty much repeating the same point over and over again oh well this is why I'm no good at LA. And ugh I intended for this to be a one-line post like "I LOVE YOU GUYS HAPPY NEW YEAR!" oh well next post I guess.

I wanna share your horizon and see the same sun rising
Turn the hour hand back to when you were holding me

-Simple Plan, Jet Lag

I've been meaning to post all this stuff about how Simple Plan's coming back and even though some people say they're like so ten years ago (kinda literally) I still heart them because they were the first ever band I liked. Okay, first english band.

But my mood's just totally off ugh. Today was fucking horrible omg. Okay hmm let's see, I had to redo my History assignment for the third time. Because it was due yesterday and I did like half of it at home, but I forgot to bring it so I chionged it in school then handed it in later than the rest of the class. And then today for some reason he told me he didn't fucking receive so I had to chiong it again. Whatthefuck luh.

And. I'm getting a fucking A2 for Math. Awesome I know. Ugh I'm seriously going to kill myself. All because I fucking screwed up my stupid block test for no apparent reason. So yeah, it totally doesn't matter that I got 10 for 2 quizzes man! And that people who failed half of their quizzes are getting A1 while i'm not! It's fucking awesome, I know.

ANd uhh, I got into Chinese News Theatre for sabbats while NgXin got into Bonsai. And I was the one who helped her sign up! If not for me she would've totally forgotten and gotten into Chinese Debate. And then I literally helped her enter everything the only thing she did was type her password!

Okay actually that didn't really make me upset, just thought it was so unfair aish.

And then for some reason I couldn't find my Chinese SIA thingy. Even though I helped NgXin print and I brought hers. But idk where the hell is mine. Okay maybe I didn't print it, since I actually printed all that stuff at 4am because I just randomly woke up and I was probably too sleep-addled or something. And then we had to chiong our IH. You know the deadline we set for ourselves was one freaking month ago. And then stupid potato just literally tells us "You're going to fail. Terribly."

And idk, just a lot of shit happened today.

And I think I'm very, vulnerable. Okay wait I don't really know. Idk, I just have the tendency to cry very easily even when I don't want to. It's like an involuntary reflex.

Okay I'm pretty sure that's quoted from White Collar. Like, the last bit.

Okay I'm still in my horrible mood and I'm freaking sleepy as usual, so yeahh.

I never thought that it'd be easy cause we're both so distant now,
And the walls are closing in on us and we're wondering how

-Justin Bieber, Down To Earth

So I finally watched Never Say Never on Friday! Okay tbh it was a tiny bit disappointing because it wasn't as superduperfreakin epic as I thought it would be, but it was still pretty amazing. Although I don't get how people like Bijou who didn't know anything find it boring.

And she didn't like Down To Earth :O But it was so epic and amazing and sad D:

Oh but the 3D was quite disappointing though. There were effects only for like, him randomly reaching out while singing. And the words. And confetti. I'm quite sure that's all, I'm serious. Ugh he said he'd make out with us! He actually said in one of the trailers "So, which one of you girls want to make out with me right now, 3D?" Yesh I'm serious LOL. Not that I actually want to hahah.

Then after that we went to Raffles City to have lunch with 211! Then we went to Esplanade for 881. I think my class is damn awesome like only one person wore a skirt/dress while all the other classes had a hell lot of people wearing hahah.

881 was quite, okay I guess. Kinda funny, and quite sad at the end. But I kept falling asleep in the beginning. And when I did Daphne kept hitting me OW.

AND THERE WAS NAT HO! Who was so hottt hahah.

Hmm. What else happened during my week. Drama! On Monday. Aish we were quite unprepared. And I think now we're going to get 0, because we took back our process file which included our marksheet to redo, then they haven't keyed in the marks blah blah so now we're going to get 0 for both our performance and process file :O

And uh, Wednesday. Went to Serene with Daphne XiMin and NgXin after school because they were idiots who got lost on their way to CIP and just gave up. We ate like, 2 large fries. Then we went to Island Creamery and shared one tub of Ping Pong Milo omggg I feel damn fat now. Then we sat there and bitched, which I sometimes kinda feel bad about.

Aish.

--

Okay I typed all that on like, Sunday. I don't think anything else happened last week. We had gym training on Thursday and Saturday omggg it's damn tiring. But nevermind I want to get rid of the flab in my thighs! And stomach and arms and everywhere ugh.

Yeah okay this week. Can't remember much either, most probably because I'm in a super bad mood, but I shall write about that later. What actually happened this weekkkk. Ugh this is like some analogy of my life okay. I just drift through it without any aim, passion, direction, anything. I just like, live each day as it comes, and no, not in a good way, I think my future's quite screwed. That's why I can't even remember anything.

Oh right, I had 2.4km on Tuesday. Okay so my timing is still really bad, but I'm damn proud of myself! I improved by one minute. From last year/the trial! And I literally didn't stop to walk, at all. Yes, that's a big achievement for me. But I didn't sprint! D: Which was totally wasted sigh. That's why at the end of the thing I didn't even feel breathless.

Okay but I think the weather helped a lot though. It was like, super nice and cloudy. Except for when it started to rain damn heavily ugh. Then after that we got some pep talk from our captain and vice-captain about zonals. And omg I didn't know the date of our first match I feel damn retarded and embarrassed now.

Wednesday, I finished Art, in one lesson!

--

So it's been another week and I still haven't finished this post. Ookay so now I can't remember much of last week.

Had NAPFA 5items on, Thursday I think? Okay so apparently my SBJ is still fine this year. Idk why, I was freaking out the week before because I couldn't jump. And this year's shuttle run is so screwed it's blocks instead of beanbags wth I think the school hates us. And ahhh I just realized that I got mostly borderline-A's this year so next year I'm going to get a lot of B's OH NO.

And then we had our last Philo lesson): We barely even had any! Then, I wasted my long weekend doing nothing when I actually had a hell lot of homework. Okay I think history's going to repeat this weekend.

Then uhh. Tuesday. We had our Geog quiz. Gahh my second open-ended question was totally wrong. That's like, 2/3 marks gone? But other than that I think I'm going to do okay. Dance! We rehearsed with transitions etc. Ah I hope we don't screw it up on the day.

Wednesday, PE. We attempted to train for our 4x100m. Omg I think we're going to embarrass ourselves our timing's damn slow. And I think my sprinting's deproving waitthere'snosuchword deteriorating WTF. I'm totally gonna pon the 100m heats.

And I want new sport shoes. Mine's sole is like, coming off soon. Like, the whole sole. Not the random pieces of rubber at the bottom. The whole damn thing. And there's this bunch of loose kinda long thread inside the left one, and when I run there's a hell lot of friction and it burns like shit. Okay actually I just need to cut it off but whatever! It's like, hard to cut off completely because the start of it is like, all the way inside the shoe. And it's like super not bouncy which is damn unfair. And I've had them since P5 wts.

Okay I'm sorry I just ranted a whole paragraph about how I want new sport shoes.

Anyway. Uh. Thursday, finished painting my art, in one lesson again! Hahah I'm damn happy that mine is so freaking simple even though it'd probably get me an F. Then during training, we did a hell lot of batting because my coach came. And then he got freaking pissed at me for not bunting properly ugh. And then my thumb got hit by a machine ball omg damn pain I couldn't even do anything properly because I could barely move my thumb without it hurting like crap.

Friday, super short day. But I had training wts. We were the only people having CCA, and we usually don't even have training on Fridays! And it was damn fucking sunny I think I'm even blacker now. Damn tiring omg. And then my coach got damn fucking pissed with me, again. Ugh and I really cannot stand some people I know I suck but can you not act oh-so-superior and be less condescending.

And then I took the same bus as my coach lol. If it wasn't a double-decker bus it would've been damn awkward hahah. And I thought he drives!

Then, today, wanted to sleep in because it was the only Saturday that I could sleep in but it turned out to a damn horrible idea it was damn fucking hot omg.

---

Soo. Complete coincidence that I'm posting today. Honestly, if I finished this post on any other day, I wouldn't post this part because yeah, it's a bit stupid to post about events after the day itself?

But anyway! It's been one year since The Wanted shot their music video for their debut single, All Time Low! Which shot straight to #1 on the charts during it's first week of release. Without much help from like, the radio or TV appearances. Unlike the thousands of bands coming from X-Factor. You know, just saying~

Okay I'm not going to type some long speech about how much I love them blah blah. I'm pretty sure I've already done that on Twitter. And reblogged idkhowmany of that kind of posts on Tumblr. So yeah, not gonna post it on my blog where the people reading are my actual friends who don't care at all.



#ProudOfTW #1YearAllTimeLow
TheWanted<3

PS. Ohh you know one of my batchmates now likes them just because she saw all my spam of them on Twitter and Tumblr! See how well that worked compared to actually verbally telling people about them. The power of social networking~

Hahah this shall be a short, pointless-in-your-opinion post. Do you know what day it is!

Okay you probably do since I went around telling almost everyone today.

IT'S NATHAN SYKES' BIRTHDAY!

Soo, HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY NATHAN JAMES SYKES!<3 Continue being cute and sweet and hot and funny and hyper and basically awesome. Thankyou for cheering me up -points to my previous post- and just for, making my life better in some weird indirect way. And don't get too drunk hahahah.

Ohh I should totally tweet that or something.

Anywayyy, ending off this post with a photo just because I can.



I saw this photo for the first time in my life like, 2 hours ago. He looks damn different here :O In a good way of course. Okayy I shall go post a proper birthday post for him on Tumblr where nobody would judge me~

Ohh wait one last thing, he was trending #1 Worldwide!



Okay I think the quality sucks because my phone can't take screenshots which is just stupid, and that was taken with NgXin's crappy 3MP phone camera.

But yeahh, YAY.

And #happy18nathan and Nath are still trending in UK hahah.

If we put too much light on this
We'll see through all the cracks

-David Cook, Lie

don't say a word, I'm okay with the quiet, the truth is gonna change everything

let the cameras roll on, keep pretending

I was gonna post this long part about how I'm so sick of how fake we're all being but I'm too tired to even care now.

so look me in the eye, and lie, lie, lie

---

Hahahah after I typed that yesterday, I fell asleep straight away because I was on my bed hahah.

Anyway. Hmm. What has happened...

OM! Soo, National Finals were last week. Friday was Spon, and the question was kinda hard? Ohhh and guys, I just realized our Spon actually wasn't that good. We were like, the second last among all the Nanyang Div II teams. Sorry to anyone who's bubble was burst after seeing this?

BUT. Our Prob-Div sucked so we were the first and got 100% yayy.

And then that night Gwen Bianca and SeeMin had a mental breakdown because of the stupid machine. Yeahhhhhhhh, it was not fun. It was actually kinda scary. And it went on for like, an hour. BUT AT LEAST THE MACHINE WORKED IN THE END (Y)

And then we freaked out because it was 1am and we thought lights out was at 12am. But when we went downstairs we were like one of the earliest groups to sleep wth.

Then uh, the next morning we fixed our backdrop till it could stand! But when we reached ACSI everything fell apart. Like, the other groups' props fell on our machine in the lorry, and all the tape on the backdrop became loose so it couldn't stand anymore. For the machine everything just, boomed ugh. Okay so the backdrop was totally our fault but the machine wasn'ttttt.

And then we just got super flustered and we couldn't fix it in time in the end so our dynamic for the performance was completely off. Like, we missed a whole bunch of kindareally important lines.

After that the rest of them went to watch our seniors' performances while Gwen and I just wandered around because we were totally not in the mood to. Ohh and there was this one point of time we were watching the softball game and I completely didn't realize that my coach was playing until I saw my senior's tweet about it hahah I fail.

And then we went to the prize ceremony which just made it even more depressing. Then after that we went to clear our stuff and the bus fucking left without us. Wow, thanks for caring so much about us man.

It was just a horrible, horrible day.

Then Sunday was just spent wallowing in self-pity and depression. And stalking The Wanted to attempt to make myself feel better. Yes I had to type that line. Because....

It's not my fault that there's not much going on in my life to make me feel better, is it. Especially when my friends can't make me feel better anyway. I'm not saying none of you bother, but most of you are just so freaking self-centred sometimes/most of the time actually I cannot stand it. Like seriously, you know, sometimes it might be good to actually listen to someone else, talking about something other than you, you and you. You don't always have to shoot me down and say "I don't careee~" or just outright ignore me right. I mean, most of the time I'm actually saying something that's actually at least partially concerning you. Even if it doesn't, would it kill to listen to me ramble for a while, when I spend hours listening to you guys.

I miss my primary school friends who actually bothered to try to isten even if you're totally rambling on and on about stuff they don't care about.

So yeah, I have to rely on five guys, thousands of miles away, whom don't even know of my existence to cheer myself up. It's not a sin to make myself happy, is it.

Ohh and no I'm not a hypocrite to other fangirls okay! I like, shake my head only when they like, start talking to themselves or squeal super loudly or something -cough cough-

Okay sorry for the super long rant. Anywayyy. What else has happened. OHH getting back block test results fuck. I did damn fucking badly for everything except Geog. Which I expected all along actually.

Math, I had a fuckload of careless mistakes. 13marks worth, yeahhh. FML. It's freaking wasted mannnn ugh it's not even like I suck at Math or anything.

Science, yeah, I knew that I was anyhow doing the paper. Ugh that sounds so Singlish. But what's a synonym for anyhow. Okay cannot be bothered to think right now. Basically I did really, really badly. But I actually studied! D: And while doing corrections I kept going "omg wtf I totally knew this" Okay actually I think most people think that for every single paper but stilllllllllll.

Chinese was fucking horrible. Everyone from my half of the class did super well except for me, who got like a B4. You know I can't even bear to look through the paper. Yeah, I barely touched it since I got it because it's just damn depressing. Yeah you know I haven't packed my file for the whole week when I usually clear it every single day because I'm obsessed with having a way too light bag.

GEOG :D Okay if I didn't do well for this one I probably would've killed myself. Plus this was one of the few papers that while doing, and even after the paper when comparing answers, I didn't really have a bad feeling about anything much. Except for the, farmer's dilemma about living near a volcano question, which I didn't connect my answer to the question. Aishhhh. If I included like, "The farmer is facing a dilemma of leaving the area for his safety or staying on for the fertile soil for his crops" stuff like that, I would've gotten like half a mark lower than the highest scorer aishhhhh.

Not the point.

Yeah, but generally I'm still depressed about my results. My LA and History better be at least average-ish or I'm going to cry seriously. I think I cry very easily you know. Like, any random person just mentions some negative thing to me, like the most current example of asking me about my Chinese/Math/Science marks and I'll just somehow start tearing. Idk whyyyyy it's not like I want to! I used to be super good at controlling my emotions in primary school ugh I don't know what happened.

Okay what else do I have to post about... OH we have zonals in a month and we only found out on Tuesday :O Shitttttt my coach better not replace me with some sec one because my throwing sucks recently fuck.

And we're playing against MGS :O Who are quite good, I think.

Okay uhhh what else what else what else.

OH.



Total, shocker, omg. Listen to it seriously. It made me somewhat gain respect for Ke$ha.

And apparently it's about her ex-fiance who died in a car crash D: Which is just, so, heartbreaking, omg </3

Just listen to it :O

Okay I can't remember what else I have to post about and I have to go for dinnerrr.

We're standing in a light that won't fade,
Tomorrow's coming but this won't change

-The Wanted, Gold Forever

Must, resist, temptation, to, post, about, The, Wanted.

SO MY BLOCK TESTS ENDED TODAY YAYYY.

The Geog paper was kinda easy, but I made a bunch of stupid mistakes. Well, at least I spelled Richter correctly?

Yesterday's Chinese paper was, bad for me. For the compo, I sort of went off-topic, and I only wrote like, 2 pages, which is really really short. Like, the question I picked was to write about a happy day (hahah the question sounds retarded) but the amount I wrote of the day's actual events were literally one paragraph. All the others were crapp. And for letter writing my structure was screwed and I didn't have enough points 'cause I had no idea what to write!

Gahhhh I think I'm going to get like B4 for Chinese this year. Honestly, I'm not like overreacting or anything. I was thinking I was doing quite well this year, but Chinese is going to pull my whole MSG up. As in, the bad-up. Yeah.

Hmm, what else is there to post about The Wanted OM! AHHHH I'm damn scared I can't believe nationals are in a week omggggg. Like, we haven't painted/put together our backdrop. Our machine's only half-done I'm damn fucking scared that it's not going to work and then we're fucked. And, some of our props are not finished. And we're very unrehearsed O.M.G.

WE'RE GONNA DIE SCREW THIS DD:

And our spon omg! We're not even like, super good and we haven't practiced in awhile and we have never ever done a single Hands-On question omg -stabs self-

Okay I shall stop freaking out about OM I need to save all my freaking out energy for Nathan Sykes. I shall calm down. WE CAN DO THIS JY!

Hmm, what else can I post about. Ohh today's Music lesson was really, cool. Idk why it just really was. Aish thinking about Music today just somehows makes me sad. So now I'm like stuck between this weird depression and my TheWanted-high. Ugh I might implode soon.

And I should sleep early today. For the whole of this week my sleeping patterns were damn screwed. Like, I'd come home at around 4+ to 6+, I'll bathe, use the comp for awhile, then go to sleep until like 11. Then I wake up, and mug (and stalk Nathan Sykes during my study breaks) till 2+, then go to sleep again. Sometimes I don't even eat dinner. But at least I'm getting enough hours of sleep. Even though it's divided 4-4. But seriously, 8 hours is more than what I usually get.

And today while doing OM I was kneeling down/squatting etc to cut up the cardboard. And once I stand up my head would start spinning and and there'd be a lot of bright spots in my vision for awhile. Ahh I used to get them when I sat down for too long and suddenly got up. But today I wasn't even stationary for that long. If that happens again tomorrow during training I'm gonna die mehh. It better just be some weird aftermath of my screwed sleeping habit which would go away once I sleep properly tonight.

Okay I've run out of things that are actually about me to post about so yeahh, I'll try not to fangirl too much about Nathan Sykes. But he's so kewtt.

Uh, what did I want to post about. Oh right, Kris Allen. Ah, I feel so disappointed with myself for posting so little about him recently. But, I mean, it's not like he has anything much going on. He's just writing and writing and writing. So there isn't much to post about anyway.

Back to the point, he was trending worldwide on Twitter today because he appeared for 3seconds on the new episode of American Idol yayy hahah. He's so awesome man. But seriously, (not so)recently he changed his hairstyle from the sexy spiky-ish thing to some weird, flat thing IDK man.

Ohh and he shares the same birthday as Rebecca Black wthh.

Which brings me to my next topic, REBECCA BLACK!



Hahah just watch it it's damn freaking funny. I think she's quite a nice person actually, like if you watch her interviews and stuff. Just that the lyrics (which she didn't write) are damn ridiculous and her voice is kinda, irritating. Like, it's good because she has good pitch and stuff like that but it just sounds very, yeah you guys get it.

And I think anyone who would make fun of themselves deserves respect man. Or maybe it's just a desperate publicity stunt so that people would respect her, so she makes more moneh. Yeah, I shall be nice and believe it's the former.

Which reminds me of Justin Bieber. Like, he did this BestBuy ad that was aired during Superbowl which is watched by like, 111million people(really! it says so on Wiki) and this old guy says "What the fuck's a Bieber?", he disguised himself as some other creepy old man and say "I don't know, kinda looks like a girl to me."



Aish just watch it.

Which reminds me of that really sad quote I read on Tumblr the other day. Wait let me go find it.

So many girls are saying they are in love with me. But they are in love with what I seem to be. That boy, that never cares about hate, that boy that's always happy, always smiling. But they don't know how much pain this hate gives me, how hard it is sometimes to not break down in tears.

-Justin Bieber

D: He really doesn't deserve all that hate.

Ohh and Gwen wants to watch Never Say Never on the opening day =.= Seriously, I do not get why she wants to like, die amongst all the crazy fangirls. I mean, we're not even hardcore fans there's no point going on the opening day. Plus it's on a Thursday so I have training):

Which reminds me, when I was playing the Gold Forever music video while doing OM today, NgXin suddenly squealed because she thinks that Nathan Sykes looks like a less-hot version of Justin Bieber =.=

Like, seriously, how can you compare Nathan Sykes to Justin Bieber! And still say he's inferior, seriouslyyy. I mean, I like Justin Bieber and think he's relatively good-looking and all, but seriously, Nathan Sykes is just so much more, kewt/hot ughhhh! -resists posting photos to prove my point-

Ohh and I've managed to somehow change all my friends' opinions of him for the better! Gwen always thought he was damn cute yayy, Daphne saw his photo on Gwen's phone/my Tumblr and now thinks he's quite -somethingpositive-, Divya thinks he's okay except his weird face shape/nose or something stoopid like that, and yeah, as mentioned above, NgXin now thinks that he looks like an older-by-one-year, less-hot version of Justin Bieber, which is a compliment, I guess.

Okay I shall stop posting about Nathan Sykes now.

OHWAIT can I just post about one thing. He loves to do the suggestive eyebrow-raise idk why hahah! Like, in the day before's WantedWednesday video he did like, 10 eyebrow-raises. And then he started his part by going "Soo! -eyebrow raise- We're in Manchester. -pedogrin- Hehhhhhhh." Hahah that's so cute. And NgXin says he does the eyebrow raise really well hahah yay!

Okay I shall post about The Wanted now. There's a diff between posting about The Wanted and Nathan Sykes okay. I don't post enough about The Wanted, I should try to not be so biased towards Nathan Sykesss.

Okay so The Wanted's tour seems damn awesome through Tumblr omg. And I think they really make a big effort connecting with their fans. Like, they reply quite a bit a fans through Twitter, and they try to interact with them as much as they can during concerts, and they have a lot of meet&greets and they're very sweet and grateful to their fans. Like, they don't act like divas just because they're famous so they don't mind like, spending a lot of time thanking and talking to their fans and stuff like that.

Because like, at first when they just formed they didn't get much support from radio stations because they weren't from reality TV, which is where most British musicians come from I think. So they had to work very hard and go around everywhere doing tours at schools and stuff, to gain fans and more support. So they're very thankful to their fans for their success and stuff, and the fans actually sort of feel a personal connection to them? Yeah. I think, at least based on what the people on Tumblr are posting.

Soo, now that you've heard the inspiring story of The Wanted, you'll like them right! They're so much more than the usual manufactured, flat, one-sided boybands with mediocre vocals singing impersonal crafted-perfectly-to-be-chart-toppers songs and 'swoon-worthy' looks. They're actually extremely real and personal people with genuine talent okay.

Like, they actually write some of their songs themselves. Like, one third of their album. And they can actually sing well, and they can actually play instruments. Their beauty is totally not only skin-deep.

Aish now this sounds offensive to other boybands, but it's not supposed to be! Uhh, I sort of like JLS? Their songs are quite nice?

I'm gonna end off this post right now because real life just kicked in, and ugh it's bad stuff. Why does there have to be so much dramaaaaa.

TheWanted<3

Oh oh one last thing. If I didn't remember wrongly they were in Singapore earlier this year, for this super epic cool thing. Like, they had a showcase at Sentosa or something like that, and they also had this damn awesome competition where you basically write in and say why you're the biggest TheWanted fan. If you win, they go to your freaking house to perform for you and 9 other friends, and the radio station (I forgot if it was 913/987) brings refreshments and broadcasts the radio show from your living room.

Ugh that would've been so awesome, even though I didn't like them then. I didn't dislike them, I just didn't feel anything? Like, I kept thinking "Ooh this is super cool I think it'd be damn awesome for the person who wins. Even though I don't really like them." And I think the winner lives in Bukit Batok omgg.

Sigh.

Everyone I talk to is just another not you
Makes me wonder how we're so far apart

-The Wanted, Replace Your Heart

Okay, I shall resist the temptation to fangirl until after I've attempted to post normally. -breathes in, breathes out- HI!

This is like, one of my fastest blog post update. Because it's Chinese tomorrow, which is a subject you can't really mug for. Even though I still should because my Chinese sucks. While everyone in my class is getting like, 52 I'm getting 47.

I HEAR NATHAN SYKES. Just saying, sorry.

I even got a 43 before D: And I usually get like, 13/20 for the other one ugh. I think Chinese is my worst subject this year, as in if you only look at my grades. GAH.

Soo, since Sunday. Monday, LA was bad. I had no SEE structure, I basically paraphrased the whole book, then "From this, Scout learned about discrimination." The end. FML I'm going to fail. I didn't even have any quotes except like, "nigger-lover" and "thrash". Honestly. Damnnnn.

After school Bianca and I stayed back to cut up cardboard for our OM backdrop for awhile. Then Daphne called me and begged me to go library to study with her. Yeah, and when I went there she spent like 10minutes standing there trying not to laugh before finally sitting down. Yeah, you don't get it but I feel too tired and fangirly to expose her scandalous affairs so yeah, I'm so nice right.

It isn't actually scandalous, it just sounds better like that.

Tuesday, History. God. There wasn't enough time ugh. I only had 5minutes to do my whole structured question, and half of my second SBQ. And my co-form who was the invigilator was super nice and gave us an extra minute. 'Cause when time was already up she was like, one more minute, probably because she saw pathetic people like me still writing.

Today, Physics, ahhhh fuck. First my mood was completely ruined, because literally every single fucking person who saw my notes were like, "Are these YOURS?!" I'm fucking sick of people treating me like I'm stupid and like I don't try at all just because I'm not, even close to being a model student. Like, seriously, literally everyone does that.

Just because I score well for something doesn't mean I fucking cheated okay. And just because I'm not good at a certain subject or something doesn't mean you can just, IDK LUHHHHH WTF.

Sorry anyway. Then I basically anyhow did the whole paper gah I'm going to fail. Then today after school, we did OM I'm freaking proud of us today. Like, even though it's block tests period, we made 3 out of the 8 panels we need for our backdrop! Okay actually it was because all of us had to stay back for IH consultation anyway. And we used up all the nice identical cardboard, so yeah, I think the other panels would be harder to make):

Then IH consultation, LSB basically told us we were going to fail. But who caaaaaares. Honestly, that draft was total crap and was just handed in for the sake of it. We're not going to fail please.

Okay, so, I should probably go mug for Chinese/Geog now. Okay, I shall continue stalking/fangirling until, 11. Then I'll mug a tiny bit of Chinese.

---

You're strongly advised to not continue reading this post btw. This is my, crazy over-obsessed fangirling, to curb the madness of block tests to make sure I don't lose my sanity. Fighting fire with fire, yeah?

Okay, I honestly, cannot, fathom, how, people, like, Divya, and, Jessie, think, that, Cory, Freakin', Monteith, is, ugly. Okay I completely understand that not everyone thinks he's superduperomghot, but seriously. Ugly, Cory Monteith. Do you not see how those words do not go together.

And ugh all my classmates don't think Darren Criss is good-looking. But yeah, that one I understand more? 'Cause Darren Criss is like, his freaking sexy charm plus his voice plus his personality, plus his looks. Like, his looks aren't that big of a factor of why I like him? Not that I like Cory Monteith only for his looks, okay I do. But I love him for his Canadian dorky awkwardness, and his talent.

ANYWAY. The main point of this fangirling post.

THE WANTED.

Okay so I've spent a lot of time, mostly random breaks between studying, at 2am, stalking them. Ah okay I now think Nathan James Sykes is freaking awesome<3 Ugh it's so sad when everyone I know calls him ugly wtf okay D:

So he's not hot, or very handsome, so what. He has a weird face shape(?), his eyes are too far apart(?!), who cares. He's super cute please. The thing I like about how he looks is that he just looks like a regular (freakishly adorable) 17-year-old boy-next-door. Seriously. It's so mean when everyone says he's ugly okay D: I'm so heartbroken.

Kay that photo's sort of unglam 'cause I just screenshot it from some video because he just looked so freaking cute omo but yeah, most of his photos are unglam anyway.

And he's damn adorkable seriously. I love the word adorkable. He's like those, quiet and blur kind of people hahah. But it's not like he's quiet and emo all the time or something. He's like, dorky and funny and high a lot too. And he's damn slow apparently hahah, despite being the youngest in the band. Everyone else is like 20-22 and he's 17. He takes the longest in the shower, and he cannot drink fast to save his life. Because they keep having milk challenges, idk why, to see who can drink the fastest, and by the time the first guy finishes he's barely started. Then when everyone else finishes he's probably still at like, 3/4 hahah so cute omg.

And I think it's damn fawesome that they post a lot of videos. They post a video every Wednesday, and they call it #WantedWednesday! And it's just very informal, and personal and it's just a great way for fans to connect with them? Like, it's very easy for me to find stuff to fangirl about like that.

Oh and he was the one who thought of the band name, btw. Like, apparently it was when they were working on this, Western cowboy-ish song that's super sexy imo, he thought of those old WANTED posters and stuff. So, tada, The Wanted! He's so awesome.

Yeah, ending this post here before I hyperventilate or something, and I shall end with another photo of Nathan Sykes, just because I can.



He looks so different and not 17yearoldboynextdoor-y, but he's still really good-looking. And in a suit dammit. But his eyebags are just D: </3

Okay gnight I shall go mug for Chinese for like 5minutes now.

And seriously, if anyone of you calls him ugly or something negative I will chop off your head. Keep your mean horrible comments to yourself.

Oh and someone get me The Wanted (the album) as a, random-for-no-reason present tyvm.

We could rule the world someday, somehow
But we'd never be as bright as we are now

-The Wanted, Gold Forever

Ugh I was typing this ridiculously long emo post and I ended up crying (honestly) because I'm just so fucking sick of you guys but yeah, I hate bitching, especially on the Internet, so nevermindddd. YAY:D

On a happier note, THE WANTED!<3 I love this song so much okay. Like, just the meaning behind it. And it's for some charity!

Ooh and I've suddenly started liking them. I mean, their songs are like a bunch of the really few decent songs left on the radio, even though I used to think they were kinda awkward. But they're totally not okay. And they're BRITISH! And a BOYBAND! Ahhhh.

But NgXin saw them in some magazine and said their faces are so square and they look like toads wth! I'm so offended.

Okay nevermind anywayy.

Hmm, I haven't posted in almost 2 weeks. Last week, oh right it was holidays. Gosh I hate myself for completely wasting it doing nothing. I just spent my whole week on Twitter and Tumblr and LiveJournal, and Wikipedia stalking people like Darren Criss<3

Okay, since I last posted on Monday... Tuesday I didn't do anything. Wednesday I worked on OM props for the whole day. I think we're quite screwed ahhhh. Our machine's not even mostly done ohno what if it doesn't work, which will most probably happen, tbh. Then after that I went to Sogurt with Bijou and Bianca and I somehow spent 10bucks on yoghurt :O

Thursday, I went for training. Can't remember what happened during training. I think the Sec3s got damn pissed with us outfielders. So in turn Jodi got pissed at them too. Ugh it was badd. Then after training I went to Daphne's house to do our Science SIA. Then after lunch and sitting around talking about it, we concluded that we could do nothing and should just slack. So we watched movies. No, it was actually only me watching the movies while Daphne and XiMin just sat there and slept.

And ooh before watching we played XBox Kinect! I fail at it though mehh.

Friday, we played against, Assumption English School. We won them, -some awesome score-. AES was really really not a strong opponent, no offense? Plus I think that game was our best out of the 3. Friday, we played Greendale and it was a total mess omg. I don't know why, we just didn't even play to our, 80%? Idk, something like that. Like, I, couldn't bat a single ball, didn't run properly and missed a ball while I was supposed to be covering for Daphne and I think she was super unhappy with me. For the rest of the match she kept talking to me like I was supposed retard, which is probably what she thought because of that one ball.

We still won though hahah.

Sunday, I tried to chiong homework but kept getting distracted. So in the end I didn't do, Chinese I think.

Went back to school on Monday, and changed seating arrangement. I now sit with Gwen, Bianca and Jessie.

:O I just realized that the 17-year-old super cute guy from The Wanted, his voice sounds like a British version of Cory Monteith's. Honestlyyy.

Okay sorry. Can't remember much from Monday. Tuesday, had training. Spent most of it correcting my throw. Gahh my throw's damn screwed. And crap there was no training on Thursday and I didn't go on Saturday because I was sick + I needed to mug so when I have training again on Tuesday I'd have forgotten how to throw correctly ugh.

Wednesday. OMG PE. We were doing 'softball' and it was damn shit please. Basically someone tosses a sponge ball and you try to hit it with something that looks like a enlarged table tennis racket. And that person chases after the ball and then comes back and tags you with it. Meanwhile you're running to and fro between these 2 cones.

Just, UGH.

Oh and the PE teacher made us do PT and everyone died while doing planks hahah. For the first time I'm so happy my coach makes us do it during training.

Then we started Chem. Which is taught by one of softball's teacher-in-charge hahah. It's still, okay so far. Because it's going to get worse mehh.

Thursday. White Space was basically freaking out about how we barely have anytime left until the OM finals. And omg I'm so pissed at that stupid teacher. She was supposed to order our corrugated board since 2+ weeks ago and then when we finally got fed-up and asked her about it on Thursday she told us she couldn't get it because it's too ex and would cost us like, 100bucks.

LIKE, OMG if you can't get it couldn't you have told us earlier. Our whole backdrop is based on that thingy so now our backdrop is 0% done and we need to waste even more time searching for good cardboard.

Then during assembly we watched Theatre Club's SYF performance, and I think I'm the only person who didn't think it was ohemgeeitwassoawesomekdxeikhbgbd! Some people actually cried. I thought it was kinda sad, but not really. No offense? I feel so mean, but I'm just being honest! But the creepiness was achieved though.

Oh and I fell sick on Thursday. As in, I constantly have a cold, idk why. I just keep sneezing. But then that week I got a sore throat, which led to a cough. And then on Thursday I got a fever. I came back, slacked for awhile, then slept from 5.30 to 11. Then I woke up, ate, and attempted to mug until 5. Yes, AM.

Then I had my Math paper, and gah it was badddd. There was this question on Simultaneous Equations and I tried doing with all kinds of shit method except SE. So I had this super messy half-page-long working, and no answer in the end crap. I lost 3marks for nothing. It's not even like I suck at SE or anything.

What else happened on Friday. Music. Matthew Lim basically let us listen to a bunch of songs because we have to write songs this term :O And he said that since Rebecca Black can be a popstar we won't have problems writing songs hahahah.

Oh did you know Rebecca Black's gonna release a single/album titled, -drumroll-, LOL. No, seriously. Hahahahah.

Okay anyway, yesterday I didn't go for training. Slept in because sleeping helps when you're sick? Then I woke up and realized that I actually had CIP on that day. Wore jeans for like, the first time in almost forever because I don't really like jeans, but after I wore I couldn't understand why I don't wear them more.

Reached AMK super late, like, 4.50 when I was supposed to reach at 4, for YMCA Flag Day, and met up with NgXIn and Bianca. Then after that we got free Vitamin Water outside of AMK Hub yayy. And then I dropped Bianca's can and it broke open? Ugh I feel so screwed for doing that. Then we had to walk all the way back to the sign-in/sign-out station place and they told us to make a police report. So we had to take a bus. Basically we wasted a lot of time. When we were done it was almost 7 so we went to eat. Yayy I ate a super Japanese omelette rice. Although the black mushrooms in it were kinda, gross. And NgXin was so proud of her 4-course-meal that she bought without busting her $5 budget.

Then, yeah, today. Completely failed to mug omg I'm going to fail LA tomorrow. I've read the book once and it was practically speed-reading and Guava says twice is actually barely enough ahh I'm going to fail.

Okay instead of spending so much time freaking out about not mugging, I should actually go mug.

OMG THIS IS COMPLETELY RANDOM BUT THE PHONE I'VE BEEN WANTING FOR WEEKS ISN'T ON THE STARHUB WEBSITE ANYMORE AND I'M GOING TO GO BUY MY PHONE NEXT WEEK I THINK UGH IF IT ISN'T THERE I'M GOING TO BE SO PISSED.

赤裸裸的失落，一目了然的痛
让我无法说泪是因为吹风

-飞轮海，寂寞暴走

I'm so proud of myself! 'Cause on the bus ride back from Saturday's Pulau Ubin trip I heard a Chinese song on the radio, which I used to like and decided to try to listen to Chinese songs again! Plus it'll improve my Chinese, I think. My Chinese used to be so much better ugh.

Okay so I haven't really tried very hard but at least I don't limit what I listen to to just my english playlist now? I like, shuffle all my songs. Mmhmm.

ANYWAY. I haven't posted in 2 weeks omg. Hmm, last last week, what happened. -AHH OMG CHINESE SONGS HAVE SO MANY PRETTY LYRICS TO QUOTE FROM OH KENJI WU IS SO COOL IS HE STILL AROUND- Okay sorry anyway, I can't really remember what happened last last week. I only remember Saturday's outdoor activity? We basically walked from BS to KAP to buy our picnic lunch, then to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. Then we climbed up to the summit, then walked this scary freaking unsafe trail-not-paved-path to the place, I forgot what it's called.

We did the challenge pole, which was basically where you climb up this pole, then jump off and attempt to grab onto this trapeze hanging in front of you. According to our instructor the point isn't to catch it, since most girls can't catch it anyway or something ugh so sexist. It's about taking that leap of faith, yeahh. I actually didn't think it was scary, at all. Idk, I just really looked forward to it? I just wanted to jump off and have that awesome feeling of freefalling. I didn't even try to catch the thing, I just jumped off.

It was so fun omo.

Omo looks so cute.

Okay anyway, uh, last week. I remember we had a shitload of homework like SIAs 'cause all the teachers crammed it into the last studying-week of the term ugh. But besides that, idk. Saturday we went to Pulau Ubin. We did kayaking first. It was so fun too hahah. Then we had lunch at the top of some random hill and the view was damn nice.

---

Ugh I typed that like, 6 days ago, on, Wednesday? I can't remember. Anyway, BSE already ended omg I'm damn freaking sad D: But I got a new MacBook Pro<3

Anywayy, back to what I was saying typing, like a week ago. Uh, yep, the view on the top of the hill was damn nice, and then after lunch we totally cheated by getting a van to drive us to, what's that place called. Oh yes, Chek Jawa. There was this really nice old house there. And the sandbank looked sho prettaye omgggg. Yeah, then we went to see the swamps blah blah.

Okay, last week. I can't remember what happened either ugh. Oh right, it was camp. Ohhhhh. Gosh there's something wrong with my brain.

Monday, it was just icebreakers and campfire prep. Icebreakers were kinda fun I guess. Campfire prep was, uhhh. Idk why! Like, 205's supposed to be a high class but they were so dead ugh. Tuesday, ball games.

Ahh they're playing Something 'Bout Love on MTV I'm suddenly overwhelmed with this, idk! Ohh, jsyk, he wasn't dropped from his label. They actually offered to renew but he rejected them 'cause, idk. Yepp.

ANYWAY. Ball Games was quite fun? Dodge ball was a little screwed, but captain's ball is always fun and poison ball was just epic hahah. Then Obstacle Course, we wasted so much time waiting for other classes wth. But yeahh, it was quite fun. Ugh I'm overusing that phrase. But blah the Guess The Song was so biased.

And then I had training. Where we dressed up! So I had to wash my jersey+long socks+slacks myself bleh. Wednesday, Amazing Race. We spent so much time waiting for the other classes again ugh. Oh Gwen, Daphne, XiMin, Bijou, NgXin and I sang (+danced?) to Baby for one of the stations hahahah.

Then we watched Remember the Titans, which was a pretty good movie. Thursday, we had Water Games. Ahh it was so fun. But we played against 201 so it started to get kinda screwed. Shall not talk about it. Then we had Haunted House, which wasn't really scary. All they did was make us crawl through 'tunnels' which we kept banging against ugh, attempt to talk in creepy voices, and grab us. But yeah, at least they tried.

Then we had barbeque where I ate like a pig omg. And there was wayyyyy too much food. And ugh at the end we were supposed to put water into the tray to cool down the charcoal and then they poured too much then grey muck started oozing out from the holes at the side of the tray ew.

And then we had campfire! We had it in the audi because it was raining but it was still awesome<3 That's all I have to say.

Then on Friday it was basically closure, debrief etc. Then after that I had training, because we didn't have training on Thursday and we have a match on Saturday? And ugh I was so tired I couldn't even keep my eyes open and my seniors got pissed with me):

And then after that we had BSE closure. Where everyone went high running around the basketball court. Seriously. And then we had supper, where my group made awesome banana milkshake. And I stuffed myself with these super awesome dumplings shitttt.

And then we had group closure and just, ugh it's just so sad that BSE's over D: We didn't even camwhore enough. Like, we don't even have a single group photo meh.

Then after that I went for SRCs, against Crescent. Omg I couldn't throw properly wts. So thank god I didn't need to throw for the whole match. And I don't think I could've batted a pitcher's ball so thank god I didn't need to?

And we lost 8-7. But it's okay! Go NYSB!<3

And after that we went to buy my new MacBook Pro<3 And my sister's MacBook. Which is so plasticcc. But still, I think my parents are freaking crazy okay.

Then yesterday I just spent the whole day sleeping and doing new-computer-stuff. And then we worked on props for OM today and I spent so much time during it bitching guhh I feel so bad now.

---

I don't know what else to post about. At least usually I know I have something to post about, I just can't remember what. Now I don't even know if I had anything else to post about ugh there's something wrong with my brain seriously.

QIANYU.

September 9th, 1997.
Nanyang Softball '13.

I like organization and spending time by myself and learning new things.
I also enjoy not talking about my feelings and yelling at people about fictional characters.


Cory Monteith
May 11th, 1982 - July 13th, 2013
no I will never be over this please don't even ask thank you.


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5k'08. 111'10. bijou. daphne. divya. jessie. joy. joyce. kayhan. lynn. natalie. ngxin. seemin. ximin. yanzhe. yonghui.



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