tired of barely holding on, to something that's already gone.
tired of being the one who's in this all alone.
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had enough
Hello! Welcome to crash---and--burn.bs.com.
Be nice and tag before you leave, yeah?
so lie to me and tell me it's gonna be alright;
Sunday, 17 April 2011 // 20:03
If we put too much light on this We'll see through all the cracks
-David Cook, Lie
don't say a word, I'm okay with the quiet, the truth is gonna change everything
let the cameras roll on, keep pretending
I was gonna post this long part about how I'm so sick of how fake we're all being but I'm too tired to even care now.
so look me in the eye, and lie, lie, lie
Hahahah after I typed that yesterday, I fell asleep straight away because I was on my bed hahah.
Anyway. Hmm. What has happened...
OM! Soo, National Finals were last week. Friday was Spon, and the question was kinda hard? Ohhh and guys, I just realized our Spon actually wasn't that good. We were like, the second last among all the Nanyang Div II teams. Sorry to anyone who's bubble was burst after seeing this?
BUT. Our Prob-Div sucked so we were the first and got 100% yayy.
And then that night Gwen Bianca and SeeMin had a mental breakdown because of the stupid machine. Yeahhhhhhhh, it was not fun. It was actually kinda scary. And it went on for like, an hour. BUT AT LEAST THE MACHINE WORKED IN THE END (Y)
And then we freaked out because it was 1am and we thought lights out was at 12am. But when we went downstairs we were like one of the earliest groups to sleep wth.
Then uh, the next morning we fixed our backdrop till it could stand! But when we reached ACSI everything fell apart. Like, the other groups' props fell on our machine in the lorry, and all the tape on the backdrop became loose so it couldn't stand anymore. For the machine everything just, boomed ugh. Okay so the backdrop was totally our fault but the machine wasn'ttttt.
And then we just got super flustered and we couldn't fix it in time in the end so our dynamic for the performance was completely off. Like, we missed a whole bunch of kindareally important lines.
After that the rest of them went to watch our seniors' performances while Gwen and I just wandered around because we were totally not in the mood to. Ohh and there was this one point of time we were watching the softball game and I completely didn't realize that my coach was playing until I saw my senior's tweet about it hahah I fail.
And then we went to the prize ceremony which just made it even more depressing. Then after that we went to clear our stuff and the bus fucking left without us. Wow, thanks for caring so much about us man.
It was just a horrible, horrible day.
Then Sunday was just spent wallowing in self-pity and depression. And stalking The Wanted to attempt to make myself feel better. Yes I had to type that line. Because....
It's not my fault that there's not much going on in my life to make me feel better, is it. Especially when my friends can't make me feel better anyway. I'm not saying none of you bother, but most of you are just so freaking self-centred sometimes/most of the time actually I cannot stand it. Like seriously, you know, sometimes it might be good to actually listen to someone else, talking about something other than you, you and you. You don't always have to shoot me down and say "I don't careee~" or just outright ignore me right. I mean, most of the time I'm actually saying something that's actually at least partially concerning you. Even if it doesn't, would it kill to listen to me ramble for a while, when I spend hours listening to you guys.
I miss my primary school friends who actually bothered to try to isten even if you're totally rambling on and on about stuff they don't care about.
So yeah, I have to rely on five guys, thousands of miles away, whom don't even know of my existence to cheer myself up. It's not a sin to make myself happy, is it.
Ohh and no I'm not a hypocrite to other fangirls okay! I like, shake my head only when they like, start talking to themselves or squeal super loudly or something -cough cough-
Okay sorry for the super long rant. Anywayyy. What else has happened. OHH getting back block test results fuck. I did damn fucking badly for everything except Geog. Which I expected all along actually.
Math, I had a fuckload of careless mistakes. 13marks worth, yeahhh. FML. It's freaking wasted mannnn ugh it's not even like I suck at Math or anything.
Science, yeah, I knew that I was anyhow doing the paper. Ugh that sounds so Singlish. But what's a synonym for anyhow. Okay cannot be bothered to think right now. Basically I did really, really badly. But I actually studied! D: And while doing corrections I kept going "omg wtf I totally knew this" Okay actually I think most people think that for every single paper but stilllllllllll.
Chinese was fucking horrible. Everyone from my half of the class did super well except for me, who got like a B4. You know I can't even bear to look through the paper. Yeah, I barely touched it since I got it because it's just damn depressing. Yeah you know I haven't packed my file for the whole week when I usually clear it every single day because I'm obsessed with having a way too light bag.
GEOG :D Okay if I didn't do well for this one I probably would've killed myself. Plus this was one of the few papers that while doing, and even after the paper when comparing answers, I didn't really have a bad feeling about anything much. Except for the, farmer's dilemma about living near a volcano question, which I didn't connect my answer to the question. Aishhhh. If I included like, "The farmer is facing a dilemma of leaving the area for his safety or staying on for the fertile soil for his crops" stuff like that, I would've gotten like half a mark lower than the highest scorer aishhhhh.
Not the point.
Yeah, but generally I'm still depressed about my results. My LA and History better be at least average-ish or I'm going to cry seriously. I think I cry very easily you know. Like, any random person just mentions some negative thing to me, like the most current example of asking me about my Chinese/Math/Science marks and I'll just somehow start tearing. Idk whyyyyy it's not like I want to! I used to be super good at controlling my emotions in primary school ugh I don't know what happened.
Okay what else do I have to post about... OH we have zonals in a month and we only found out on Tuesday :O Shitttttt my coach better not replace me with some sec one because my throwing sucks recently fuck.
And we're playing against MGS :O Who are quite good, I think.
Okay uhhh what else what else what else.
OH.
Total, shocker, omg. Listen to it seriously. It made me somewhat gain respect for Ke$ha.
And apparently it's about her ex-fiance who died in a car crash D: Which is just, so, heartbreaking, omg </3
Just listen to it :O
Okay I can't remember what else I have to post about and I have to go for dinnerrr.
so lie to me and tell me it's gonna be alright;
Sunday, 17 April 2011 // 20:03
If we put too much light on this We'll see through all the cracks
-David Cook, Lie
don't say a word, I'm okay with the quiet, the truth is gonna change everything
let the cameras roll on, keep pretending
I was gonna post this long part about how I'm so sick of how fake we're all being but I'm too tired to even care now.
so look me in the eye, and lie, lie, lie
Hahahah after I typed that yesterday, I fell asleep straight away because I was on my bed hahah.
Anyway. Hmm. What has happened...
OM! Soo, National Finals were last week. Friday was Spon, and the question was kinda hard? Ohhh and guys, I just realized our Spon actually wasn't that good. We were like, the second last among all the Nanyang Div II teams. Sorry to anyone who's bubble was burst after seeing this?
BUT. Our Prob-Div sucked so we were the first and got 100% yayy.
And then that night Gwen Bianca and SeeMin had a mental breakdown because of the stupid machine. Yeahhhhhhhh, it was not fun. It was actually kinda scary. And it went on for like, an hour. BUT AT LEAST THE MACHINE WORKED IN THE END (Y)
And then we freaked out because it was 1am and we thought lights out was at 12am. But when we went downstairs we were like one of the earliest groups to sleep wth.
Then uh, the next morning we fixed our backdrop till it could stand! But when we reached ACSI everything fell apart. Like, the other groups' props fell on our machine in the lorry, and all the tape on the backdrop became loose so it couldn't stand anymore. For the machine everything just, boomed ugh. Okay so the backdrop was totally our fault but the machine wasn'ttttt.
And then we just got super flustered and we couldn't fix it in time in the end so our dynamic for the performance was completely off. Like, we missed a whole bunch of kindareally important lines.
After that the rest of them went to watch our seniors' performances while Gwen and I just wandered around because we were totally not in the mood to. Ohh and there was this one point of time we were watching the softball game and I completely didn't realize that my coach was playing until I saw my senior's tweet about it hahah I fail.
And then we went to the prize ceremony which just made it even more depressing. Then after that we went to clear our stuff and the bus fucking left without us. Wow, thanks for caring so much about us man.
It was just a horrible, horrible day.
Then Sunday was just spent wallowing in self-pity and depression. And stalking The Wanted to attempt to make myself feel better. Yes I had to type that line. Because....
It's not my fault that there's not much going on in my life to make me feel better, is it. Especially when my friends can't make me feel better anyway. I'm not saying none of you bother, but most of you are just so freaking self-centred sometimes/most of the time actually I cannot stand it. Like seriously, you know, sometimes it might be good to actually listen to someone else, talking about something other than you, you and you. You don't always have to shoot me down and say "I don't careee~" or just outright ignore me right. I mean, most of the time I'm actually saying something that's actually at least partially concerning you. Even if it doesn't, would it kill to listen to me ramble for a while, when I spend hours listening to you guys.
I miss my primary school friends who actually bothered to try to isten even if you're totally rambling on and on about stuff they don't care about.
So yeah, I have to rely on five guys, thousands of miles away, whom don't even know of my existence to cheer myself up. It's not a sin to make myself happy, is it.
Ohh and no I'm not a hypocrite to other fangirls okay! I like, shake my head only when they like, start talking to themselves or squeal super loudly or something -cough cough-
Okay sorry for the super long rant. Anywayyy. What else has happened. OHH getting back block test results fuck. I did damn fucking badly for everything except Geog. Which I expected all along actually.
Math, I had a fuckload of careless mistakes. 13marks worth, yeahhh. FML. It's freaking wasted mannnn ugh it's not even like I suck at Math or anything.
Science, yeah, I knew that I was anyhow doing the paper. Ugh that sounds so Singlish. But what's a synonym for anyhow. Okay cannot be bothered to think right now. Basically I did really, really badly. But I actually studied! D: And while doing corrections I kept going "omg wtf I totally knew this" Okay actually I think most people think that for every single paper but stilllllllllll.
Chinese was fucking horrible. Everyone from my half of the class did super well except for me, who got like a B4. You know I can't even bear to look through the paper. Yeah, I barely touched it since I got it because it's just damn depressing. Yeah you know I haven't packed my file for the whole week when I usually clear it every single day because I'm obsessed with having a way too light bag.
GEOG :D Okay if I didn't do well for this one I probably would've killed myself. Plus this was one of the few papers that while doing, and even after the paper when comparing answers, I didn't really have a bad feeling about anything much. Except for the, farmer's dilemma about living near a volcano question, which I didn't connect my answer to the question. Aishhhh. If I included like, "The farmer is facing a dilemma of leaving the area for his safety or staying on for the fertile soil for his crops" stuff like that, I would've gotten like half a mark lower than the highest scorer aishhhhh.
Not the point.
Yeah, but generally I'm still depressed about my results. My LA and History better be at least average-ish or I'm going to cry seriously. I think I cry very easily you know. Like, any random person just mentions some negative thing to me, like the most current example of asking me about my Chinese/Math/Science marks and I'll just somehow start tearing. Idk whyyyyy it's not like I want to! I used to be super good at controlling my emotions in primary school ugh I don't know what happened.
Okay what else do I have to post about... OH we have zonals in a month and we only found out on Tuesday :O Shitttttt my coach better not replace me with some sec one because my throwing sucks recently fuck.
And we're playing against MGS :O Who are quite good, I think.
Okay uhhh what else what else what else.
OH.
Total, shocker, omg. Listen to it seriously. It made me somewhat gain respect for Ke$ha.
And apparently it's about her ex-fiance who died in a car crash D: Which is just, so, heartbreaking, omg </3
Just listen to it :O
Okay I can't remember what else I have to post about and I have to go for dinnerrr.
what's left of me.
drowning in the silence, screaming.
QIANYU.
September 9th, 1997.
Nanyang Softball '13.
I like organization and spending time by myself and learning new things.
I also enjoy not talking about my feelings and yelling at people about fictional characters.
Cory Monteith
May 11th, 1982 - July 13th, 2013
no I will never be over this please don't even ask thank you.
